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Shucky Duck Wrestling 5

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Air date: August 9, 2012

The One Man Shucky Welcoming Band Open-Invitation Listening Party!/Mystery Opponent Initiative
Heath Slater vs. ???
Heath Slater told us all last week how he's sick of his treatment in WWE. However, we loved what he was doing, so we're making him do it more here.  Who will be welcomed by the ONE MAN BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND BABY?

THEY JUST KEEP COMING, MAN! MORE PEOPLE TO DEBUT! YAY!
Skyler Altus vs. Colt Cabearna
New-comers! Skyler Altus is an ass-hat. Colt Cabearna is a bear. Insert jokes about embracing hats and bear fantasies here.

Coffee vs. Hat
Jason East vs. Firsty
Firsty wanted a match. Booker Z wanted Jason East to have a match. Thus, this match was created.

Gators vs. Tigers
Caid Murdock vs. "The Tygerfire" Tyler Rykren
Caid Murdock wanted this match. Not exactly sure why. I imagine it has to do with Faggotmania, but either way, she wanted a match with Tyler Rykren. Can the biker tame the tiger? Or will the eye of the tiger prove to be too strong?

#DANGEROUS vs. #GIANTROBOTS
UZU maki vs. Jiro Kurotsu
There literally is not back story to this. At all. Have a randomly thrown together match, featuring rising star Jiro Kurotsu and the one who claims you can't escape the danger, UZU maki.

It's General E. difficult to Cope sometimes.
General E. Amazing vs. SPEAR Copeland
SPEAR Copeland eliminated General E. Amazing at SDW 4 in the big newcomer battle royal. We assume the General wants revenge, so he can get his chance at it.

Revenge Tastes Bear-y Good... But Does It Taste As Good As PISS?
Bear-y Mannilow vs. Bork Laser
At SDW3, Bear-y Mannilow managed to beat Bork Laser with a roll-up. Bork was upset and attacked Bear-y at SDW4 before Bear-y's match with Groudon could begin. It's time to settle the problems.

Red Not-So-Dead Redemption!
Lance Murdock vs. Tommy Hayakawa
Lance Murdock was eliminated immediately at SDW4 and never got to show us what he can do. On the other hand, Tommy Hayakawa perhaps tried a little too hard to show us what he can do and ended up eliminating himself. Both of these guys are being given a new chance to prove themselves.

RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW CHAMPIONSHIP
Derrick Brizen © vs. Above-Average Dragon
Derrick Brizen won his title a couple weeks back at SDW 3. While he was given the night off and checking out the talent, Above-Average Dragon proved that he's worthy of the name "Above-Average" by eliminating all the other dragons. He earned this shot. Can Derrick keep the gold, or will Above-Average continue to be above-average?

LIMITED SKILLS AND ABILITY CHAMPIONSHIP: Elimination Triple Threat!
Fats King © vs. Crasher Wake vs. Mick E. Spade
Because Booker Z is a douche, the originally intended match of Fats King vs. Crasher Wake was bumped off the card at SDW 4. Meanwhile, Mick E. Spade got himself his first win, racking up enough points to earn a shot at this championship. Instead of making a line, we put it all together. Can Fats King overcome the odds?

Main Event: SHUCKY DUCK WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP
Mighty Inferno © vs. Mysteriously Masked Man
Mighty Inferno is on a hell of a roll. He has yet to lose one match since SDW started, proving that he deserves this championship. However, Mysteriously Masked Man made quite a debut at SDW 4, when he eliminated three people to win the new-comer battle royal. Someone's leaving with the gold, and the other is leaving with their first loss.

Tags: sdw, shucky duck wrestling, heath slater, chazz connolly, skyler altus, colt cabearna, firsty, richie stevens, jason east, dirk derek, caid murdock, tyler rykren, uzu maki, jiro kurotsu, general e. amazing, spear copeland, bear-y manilow, bork laser, lance murdock, tommy hayakawa, above-average dragon, derrick brizen, mick spade, crasher wake, fats king, mysteriously masked man, mighty inferno,