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True Survivor Night One

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The scene opens to the Electric President in a very well made three piece suit spinning around in a chair in a mock up of the Oval Office. The IWC Logo has replaced the Presidential Seal, but otherwise this is the only difference. He comes to a complete stop dramatically and points a finger at the screen.

"Your Electric President wants YOU to watch True Survivor, February 19th to the 21st, 2019 in the year of our Lord. But I know what you're thinking. Why is the Electric President talking to us, the unwashed masses, this singular time? Well the answer is simple Billy from Utah. Evan Wolf, my partner in crime, the Watson to my Sherlock, the Sonny Bono to my Cher, the spoon to my bowl of ice cream, has seriously dropped the ball. Has anyone heard anything about this show of shows? No. No one knows what the Hell is going on. But I do. Like a great eagle swooping down into the Electoral College I have broken the stalemate and fixed the brackets."

The Electric President points above him and an American Flag with the tournament bracket on it drops behind him.

"First and foremost, a bunch of people who absolutely have no place being in the single greatest promotion in history dropped their names, and, dare I say pathetic, teams into the race. They were like a bunch of sex perverts and criminals rolling into my, OUR, lands. This was all due to poor border control on the part of my partner. This has been rectified. Some of those who signed up have been kept. Some of them have been deported back to wherever they came from. In the void that was left I have responsibly put several teams I have personally handpicked to make sure this show truly represents the greatest of our time. America. At least I think most of them are American. Some of these are mysteries, because I know how much the people love to be surprised. Here is the tournament bracket:"

Night One

The Super Best Friends (Matt, Pat, Woolie and Brennan Williams) vs. The Skeleton Warriors
TWRP (Who?) vs. From Russia With Love (I hate the goddamn Russians)
The Canon Bridge (Dave Ironside, BarackSays and Lance Mezaros) /w ??? vs. A Big Hog, some kind of Flat Earther, an Aerith murderer and what appears to be four dogs in a suit
Nick Fury and ??? vs. ??? (I couldn't remove this one from the listing for some reason)

On Night One there will also be three matches to break things up. My friends in my Cockus, Lethal Blaze, will be defending their perfectly legally gained tag team championships against the Reid Brothers in what I believe will be a one sided match. I will also be fighting current IWC Heavyweight Champion Akpos. Oh, and I MAY have booked Evan Wolf against Zebadiah Thurston, since he really needs to get over that dude. He stalked your home. No one cares. Move on.

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