Episode One
We’re back! After a long wait and one reboot later, Total Distortion Wrestling has made its return! With a new look, new competitors, and a new owner, TDW looks to bring the STIFF wrestling you crave! Without further ado, let’s look at the card for this show.
Back before TDW’s closure, two teams clashed heads with each other. Those two teams being Critical Error and the Cool Katz Café. Critical Error would torment the Cool Katz Café for weeks even before they debuted on the main show, and Cool Katz Café never got to settle the score. However, Kittie Katz and The Glitch will not be returning to Total Distortion Wrestling, leaving only Ricky D’Amore and John Doe to go head to head. Will D’Amore get revenge for all the mind games, or will the Latin Lover be shut up by The Man in Grey?
Another man making his return is The Man Mountain, Richard Fountain! After having a brutal match with Gabriel White at Super Kerfuffle 2, he looks to continue his streak of pain. Calling himself the herald of the end, Richard Fountain believes it’s his mission to crush the souls of anyone in his path. However, he has a challenger who isn’t from a culture Fountain is aware of. That culture being the skateboarding culture as he takes on a skateboarding legend turned wrestler in Tony Hawk! The Birdman looks to make his debut against one of the toughest foes in TDW. Will Tony overcome the odds, or will Fountain have a repeat performance?
Speaking of old vs new, we have another match up set up just like that. We have Splat Purchase, an energetic young man who really wants to go to space. Unfortunately, on his travel, he did not make it to space, but ended up in Miami, Florida instead! Despite this, he looks to find success in the ring. He will also have a tall task ahead of him as he faces J.C. Stone! A TDW veteran who first appeared at National E-Wrestling Day 2, J.C. might not have had the most successful of runs but he certainly had one of the most memorable. Butting heads with Harold Remington-Harrington and teaming up with Eli McSweeney, he now looks to start again as he will face Splat Purchase. Will J.C. start off the right foot, or will Splat take him to the moon?
In another match between old vs new, we have Clark Walker, a man who most say was screwed out of a Guitar Warrior championship win at World Long Gone, takes on a student of Lance Meszaros, Harley Vincent. Harley Vincent has made his mark, appearing on both Clear Fork Pro Wrestling and AES PrimeTime, notably interfering on Lance’s behalf on PrimeTime to deal with Skyler Altus. However, this time he’ll have to deal with Clark Walker, who is not only angry about his situation in TDW, but even angrier about his situation in SAPW after Chell and Erin spoiled The Walker Brothers SAPW Tag Title victory and stole the belts. Will Clark channel his anger and use it to win, or will Harley take advantage of a possibly unfocused Clark Walker?
Jade Andersen is a new talent we signed. Making appearances in feds like Zenith Pro Wrestling, she is no slouch when it comes to in ring competition. A former security agent and a friend of the Moore family, she looks to make a good impression with the fans of TDW! However, she faces a mystery opponent! Who could this be? Even I don’t know and I write the damn write up! Who? WHO!?!?
We have a huge tag team match up for the TDW Blast Beats Championships! The Hatventurers have had a long reign and faced teams such as The Posse Protection Agency, The Wylde Onez at OTT, and are even teaming in the Golden Triad Tournament! After forming up long ago in TDW, this has become a formidable team. But now, we have a team even more experienced than them as the challengers! Richie Stevens and Harold Remington-Harrington will face the team of AKIMan and Sin Cobra, Dance Party 95! These former ProWres Tag Team Champions look to make their full time return to the ring, and while they like to have fun, in the ring it’s all business! Who will take home the gold? The Hats, or the Dance Party…95?
Lastly, TDW General Manager Bill Atlas has a big announcement to kick off the show! But would could it be? Find out on the return episode of Total Distortion Wrestling!
TDW Blast Beats Championship!
The Hatventurers [c] vs Dance Party 95
A Rivalry Comes To An End
John Doe vs Ricky D’Amore
Extreme Sports
Richard Fountain vs Tony Hawk
Angry Moonmen
J.C. Stone vs Splat Purchase
Le Mystery Opponent Has Arrived!
Jade Andersen vs ???
The Young Oof Kid
Clark Walker vs Harley Vincent
A Special Announcement!