It's almost here! There is only one more episode before the World is truly Long Gone. Episode 12 looks to be the most stacked card yet! With a show like this, you won't want to miss it!
The Hatventurers and The Posse Protection Agency will get to clash once before their big title match at World Long Gone! However, the catch is that it won't be any kind of clash. It will be a battle of blood, sweat, and tears. A battle in which all honor is on the line. This is, the Jackie Chan challenge. This fierce gauntlet, set by Eli McSweeney himself, will test the limits of these two teams. In one of the most devastating showdowns of all time, Richie Stevens and Harold Remington-Harrington will go head to head with J.C. Stone and Eli McSweeney in the Say Five Things Other Than Jackie Chan Challenge!
Hugh Karcer made an impact two episodes ago, redebuting after his Kerfuffle! stint by attacking Darby Brizen after her match, and then made another impact by dominating in his match against Michael Taylor last episode. Crypto has followed a similar path, after her brief Kerfuffle! stint she has since gone 1-1 against Noxi and picked up an easy victory against Vancouver St. Daniels. Now these paths will clash, as Crypto and Hugh Karcer face each other one on one! This is the second time they will have competed in a TDW ring, who will prevail?
We're bringing the Battle in Battle Royale with this four way match! 4 wrestlers, 2 men, 2 women, will compete in this pecular match up. The lusty Noxi, the cocky Eli McSweeney, the sensual Mrs. Shagwell, and the ever so tricky E T V will take part in this match! Noxi is coming off a 1-1 record against Crypto and looks to add more to the wins column. Eli McSweeney, along with being one of the contestants in the Jackie Chan Challenge tonight, will be in action at World Long Gone, competing for the tag titles with his partner, J.C. Stone, and he will certainly look to build momentum. Mrs. Shagwell is looking to impress, and perhaps will use her slow motion style of wrestling to prevail. Lastly, E T V, the ever so crafty man is scheduled to compete once again, will we see E T V actually compete, or will he decieve us once again? You won't want to miss this matchup!
The Cool Katz Café have been having many issues as of late. Their matches being messed with, their minds being clouded with games, and even the possession of our lovable interview, Tyrone, Lord of the Dance! They are looking to put these "ghosts" on notice, when they face Drunk and Disorderly, a matchup of the just as insane Cornelius K.Racy, and the savant of television, Dirk Derek. Cool Katz will look to put their heads back in the game for this matchup!
The run of the TDW Encore Title has begun! With it's first owner, Bodacious Bo, looking to keep a firm grasp on it after obtaining it after defeating Fatty McYardtard for it last episode. He will have to be on his toes, as he faces the face of Hollywood News, Canadian Dragon. Canadian Dragon has seemingly phased back into his Hollywood persona after being taken out by Sir Dan Danielson the Third, and now looks to reclaim his momentum he was building throughout TDW's history. In the battle between Fame and Smiles, these men will compete for the most chaotic prize yet, the TDW Encore Championship!
Sterling Pierce, a man known for his..."eloquent" vocabulary, certainly picked up a huge win for himself last episode. On Episode 11, Pierce picked up the win for his team over long time rival, Richie Stevens, and one of his opponents for the Six String title, Devon Callahan, with a suplex that rocked Devon's neck. Devon Callahan however is not done yet with Sterling Pierce, as she looks to even the score against him on this episode! Each participant will have one final chance to make their mark on the fatal four way matchup. Who will claim the momentum, Callahan, or Pierce?
Erika Reinhardt is a woman on a mission. She's been on a warpath, looking to crush those who stand in her way. But now, she faces the Druglord, the Dirty D, the one and only Derrick Brizen. Brizen has been on a spree of harassment over recent episodes towards Laura Brennan. He's tried to ask her on a date, before being rejected, and then resorted to interviewing her in a rather revealing two piece bikini. For now, however, he will face Erika. Erika is someone who has seen it all in war, and will not be phased by Brizen's mindgames, so all that's left is their in-ring ability as they face off in what looks to be a brutal matchup!
Laura Brennan has been on quite a cold spell in TDW, but it's a rare kind of cold spell, in fact, some might say it's an impressive cold spell! Despite her win/loss record, she has put up impressive showings with the likes of Clark Walker and Harold Remington-Harrington, and has defeated the team of Albert Del Tyneside and Eli McSweeney with her picking up the win! However, now she will face possibly the toughest challenge yet. She will face the current Six String champion of TDW. La Red. Throughout her TDW career thus far, La Red has accumulated possibly the best win and loss record in the whole company, and looks to continue this by facing big name competition such as Laura Brennan! Will old glory conquer, or will the current champion reign supreme?
Sego Khan ran into trouble last episode in his main event match with the Guitar Warrior champion, "Guitar Warrior" Marty Jannetty. Sego was accompanied by Sir Dan Danielson the Third, after seemingly rekindling the friendship between the two of them. However, as Sir Dan showed later in the match, this was not the case. Sir Dan interfered and delivered a Durandal to Sego Khan, assisting Marty Jannetty with the victory. Now, Sego Khan looks to take out that anger on one of the fastest rising stars in TDW, one half of the TDW Blast Beats champions, Harold Remington-Harrington. Not only will Harold be competing in Jackie Chan Challenge with his fellow Hatventurer, Richie Stevens, but he will have to endure the pain that Sego Khan looks to bring. Will the government agent save the day, or will the mongolian decent of Genghis Khan himself take the victory?
Finally, in the main event, two forces will collide. The number 1 contender for the Guitar Warrior championship, Clark Walker, has been on a tear no one has seen before. He has gone through Erika Reinhardt, Laura Brennan, and Richie Stevens, in an impressive gauntlet! His momentum is massive, so massive that it seems no normal competitor can overcome! But, Clark Walker will not face any ordinary competitor. He will face possibly the biggest challenge AES has to offer. He will go one on one with Sir Dan Danielson the Third. Sir Dan has been on some sort of mission in TDW, possibly trying to recruit men into his so called Brethren. No one really knows what his ultimate end goal is, but one things for certain, at Episode 12, he looks to make a statement, and stop the momentum of Clark Walker. Who will win in this massive main event? Find out at Total Distortion Wrestling: Episode 12!
Main Event - I Don't Even Want to Make a Shit Pun for This
Clark Walker vs Sir Dan Danielson the Third
Khan Harold Chase Down a Terrorist Penguin?
Sego Khan vs Harold Remington-Harrington
Man, Pokémon Red & Green Look Different...
La Red Dinamica vs Laura Brennan
Let's Be Honest, Someone's Going to Fucking Die Here
Erika Reinhardt vs Derrick Brizen
Devon Unleashes Her Inner Brit as She Tries to Pound Sterling
Devon Callahan vs Sterling Pierce
TDW Encore Championship
Bodacious Bo © vs "Hollywood" Canadian Dragon
The Cool Katz Café Has a Drinking Problem Tonight
Cool Katz Café vs Drunk & Disorderly
An Exciting Foursome...Battle Royal Style
Noxi vs Eli McSweeney vs Mrs. Shagwell vs El Trippy V
Cowboys vs Aliens 2: Electric Boogaloo
Hugh Karcer vs Crypto
The Name 5 Things That Aren't Jackie Chan Challenge, featuring The Hatventurers and The Posse Protection Agency!