Originally posted November 1st, 2011
Tonight shall be the celebration of an ancient festival known as Halloween – A festival representing the end of summer and beginning of winter. Will this be the beginning of winter for Wrestle Republic 2421? Last week saw the crowning of a new World Champion – Suit Beardy. Will his reign usher in a season of darkness unto Wrestle Republic, or will the great Thunder Hawk or perhaps even witty Duke Nukem de-crown the new king before his reign even gets into swing? Blood will be shed. A new Global Network and Hardcore champion will be crowned. This, and much more tonight at MIDNIGHT MADNESS.
A meagre Orange pyrotechnics display starts the show off as “This is Halloween” blares over the speakers. Orange strobe lights ignite the AES arena and show banners splattered with fake (We hope) blood with images of grisly battles of past. Jack-O-Lanterns, skulls and over Hallow's Eve paraphernalia are littered over the arena. A black ring apron with an orange Jack-O-Lantern adorns the ring. The ropes are an untraditional orange, also. The fans are adorned in masks and face paints they have gathered from materials vendors have been selling. A few fans in the front row are spotted wearing masks with striking resemblance to the new world champion, Suit Beardy. There is also a fan in full Duke Nukem attire, complete with sunglasses, amongst many T. Hawk fans brandishing signs and face paint. There is a tense atmosphere in the air.
East: Ladies and Gentlemen, I am Jason East and welcome to Wrestle Republic 2421's presentation of Hallow's Eve Midnight Madness! Joining me specially on commentary tonight is none other than the Royalty of Wrestling – Sir Dan Danielson the Third!
Dan: That's it? That's the introduction you give me?
East: I'm sorry, wha-
Dan: Shut up. I'm the Royalty of Wrestling, Brian Kendrick damn it. Let me explain something to you, and the fans watching at home – I'm only on commentary duty since I am not cleared to compete. I received a concussion at the hands of that brute, Ugg, last week, so therefore I am lending my extensive talents to this commentary booth, and trust me, you REALLY need my assistance.
East: Well, thank you, Sir Dan. Speaking of Ugg, he is in a Hardcore Championship match tonight against a mystery opponent! Also, we have a Global Network Championship match between Autumn Meszaros and Hyper Blizzard, aswell as the main event - A World Championship Triple Threat match between the new Champion Suit Beardy and the two number two placed contenders from last week's battle royal – Duke Nukem and T. Hawk!
Dan: Certainly exciting, I give the Doctor that. He knows how to book a card.
East: Indeed so! And we start straight away with our first match – Bio Dingo VS Lotus Dragon I!
Bio Dingo VS Lotus Dragon I
Eaton: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is set for one fall and has a 20 minute time limit! Introducing first, hailing from The Den, weighing in at 175lbs – Bio Dingo Patterson!
East: Bio Dingo certainly looking grizzly tonight. Is he someone you know of?
Dan: Not exactly. He looks a little different. More aggressive. I like it. I like it a lot.
East: Bio Dingo making his way down to the ring, growling to himself as usual as we've seen around here. It's his first in ring appearance tonight and will he pull of a win in a big way against this man?
Eaton: And his opponent, hailing from Hawaii, weighing in at 180lbs – Lotus Dragon!
East: And this is the original Lotus Dragon, correct?
Dan: Indeed so. He's being flanked by his distant relative there, the rather shiny Lotus Dragon XXVII. Twenty Eight, for those of you too stupid to work out Roman numerals. Can't say the name is very original.
East: Aren't you Sir Dan Danielson the THIRD?
Dan: Aren't you about to get a smack in your mouth if you don't shut up, you insolent cretin?
East: *Ahem* And on to our match. Few kicks starting us off from Lotus Dragon to Dingo who doesn't seem to appreciate that, who returns with a vicious punch! Punches now from Dingo to Lotus, and Dingo pulls him into a side headlock take-down. Knees now from Dingo into the face of Lotus who remains on the floor taking all of this early punishment.
Dan: Those knees get you real good. Good idea to get some quick and easy shots in while your opponent is on the mat.
East: Dingo now with a big knee! Cover, 1.... 2....
East: Kick out from Lotus, too early for Dingo to win this. Dingo picks up Lotus but Lotus responds with a drop kick sending Dingo out of the ring! Lotus Dragon XXVII has to move out of the way as Dingo tumbles out in front of the crowd!
Dan: And the crowd wants no part of Dingo. Not even his tattered vest or hairy chest. Are you surprised? They fear the brutality of this man.
East: Dingo trying to recover on the outside, and on the inside Lotus Dragon runs from one side of the ropes to the other and right through with a running plancha straight into Dingo, sending them both flying into the steel barriers we recently erected!
Dan: Hey! I spent a long time shouting at people to get those up! Don't damage them yet!
East: The younger Lotus is looking on impressed, or at least I think so. I can't see his eyes, he's wearing some crazy shades.
Dan: I think those are supposed to be the fashion nowadays. Who knows.
East: Lotus Dragon I picks up Dingo by his mane and throws him back into the ring, and once he gets in there, Irish whips Dingo across the ring, leapfrog, Dingo runs again, Arm Drag from Lotus to Dingo! Lotus is on the mat and locks in a triangle choke on Dingo – Will Dingo tap?
Dan: I don't think so. Dingo's a well tamed beast.
East: Dingo powers out of the hold and hits a DDT on Lotus Dragon! Elbows now from Dingo to Lotus who is really reeling here. He needs to get his momentum back in a big way, and it doesn't even really looks like Lotus Dragon XXVII is on his side!
Dan: He's fiddling with some kind of a device on the outside. Huh. I don't think that Lotus Dragon is that interesting either, but the peon should show some respect for his elder.
East: The fans are certainly on Lotus Dragon I's side though as he's trying to get them behind them – he delivers a sharp thrust kick to Dingo but – He's caught it and – Enzugiri! Great Enzugiri from Lotus Dragon there! Dingo is in the middle of the ring now and Lotus climbs to the top rope – He's going for it – The Moderately Sized Kahuna! Lotus hits that senton splash! Cover now, this could be it – 1.... 2....
East: No! Kickout from Dingo! Dingo is enraged now!
Dan: He's got an untamed fury in his eyes. I know that feel, that blood rush – The pain fades away and the adrenaline kicks in. He's about to unleash a mega beatdown right here.
East: I think you're right! Big time knee lift from Dingo looks like it caught Lotus right on the jaw, he may be out cold, but Dingo holds on to him and doesn't even let him hit the mat as he goes for another! Oof. That looks really, really painful. Dingo now with the closed fists and – Of course, the referee has to break it up.
Dan: Oh, come on. At least give him a count.
East: The referee is stopping to check on Lotus now, he seems OK. He's getting back up and – Dingo from out of nowhere with that running jumping lariat! That was brutal and knocked Lotus completely inside out!
Dan: Welp, show's over folks. I believe that is called the Dingo Lariat and it has finished many men I've seen Dingo go up against in training.
East: Dingo just roaring at the referee now to count the pin. This has got to be it, 1.... 2....
East: 3. It's over.
Dan: Of course it's over! What man do you think could humanely get up from THAT?
Eaton: Here is your winner – Bio Dingo Patterson!
East: Dingo just knocked Lotus out cold with that one, I think. Lotus Dragon XXVII in the ring and he's just looking on disappointed at his elder. No hands of appreciation, just disappointment from the younger member of La Lotus Familia.
Dan: I'd be disappointed too. That's worse than waking up on Christmas Morning to a box set of the Greatest Matches of Bags Macheadsy. No content at all.
East: I've no idea who this Bags Macheadsy is but I'll take your word for it. Great victory from Bio Dingo to kick off Midnight Madness here on Hallow's Eve! Please, send us your Midnight Madness Hallow's Eve stories on the Global Network, we'd love to hear them!
Dan: Speak for yourself.
East: Now an exclusive look at one of the three competitors in tonight's World Heavyweight Championship Triple Threat Match – The great Thunder Hawk and his manager, Zangief!
Zangief and T.Hawk are seen in the junkyard where this makeshift training area has been made. T.Hawk is seen practising his strikes against a metallic dummy built by Zangief. The cybernetic superstar turns to the camera in front of him...
Zangief: This night my protege is hard at work training, so I shall be his voice and speak about his match.
He clears his throat as T.Hawk's strike being to vary from chops to punches and some kicks here and there...
Zangief: Last week was great victory. Many people were able to fill their stomachs with food thanks to the money he won. It brought warmth to my heart to see such a good deed done. There was only thing that we were unhappy with.
T.Hawk's strikes begin to hit the dummy harder as some dents begin to appear in it obviously showing his frustration about last week...
Zangief: Even with the win, there was minor defeat. As everyone saw Mr. Nuke and T.Hawk got into battle out on apron. They had crowd on edge of seats wondering which would fall first. Only to have that odd creature Beardy sneak in with cowardly tactics and eliminated them both. That did not sit well T.Hawk, his mind has been focused on taking title away from the new champion.
A smile appears across his face for a moment...
Zangief: As for Mr. Nuke, T.Hawk looks forward to trading strikes with you again. They weren't at top condition unlike tonight, so do not be surprised if you sense a difference in strength comrade.
T.Hawk finally unleashes one final big boot that sends the dummy flying as Zangief just smirks...
Zangief: Beardy, Mr. Nuke, I do hope you both are prepared for this night. T.Hawk does not intend on going down without fight. Bring your best to ring or face fury of the The Raging Storm known as Thunder Hawk.
Zangief gives a big laugh as he turns around.T.Hawk looks on with a serious expression on his face – mentally and physically ready for his match...
East: Welcome back to the AES Arena and thanks for joining us for Wrestle Republic 2421: Hallow's Eve Midnight Madness! And before the break we saw T. Hawk training with Zangief, and wow does he look ready! Did you see that big boot on that dummy?
Dan: I've got to admit, that was quite impressive. I wouldn't like to be in the way of that thunder storm when it rolls around.
Derrick Izendorf and Shane Brooks VS Captain Marvelous and Logan Halford Altus
Eaton: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following tag team match is set for one fall and has a 20 minute time limit! Introducing first, hailing from the United Kingdom, weighing in at 186lbs – Spastic Thunder, Derrick Izendorf! And his partner, from Chicago Illinois, weighing in at 246lbs – Shane Brooks!
East: Both men looking determined tonight as they rush to the ring. Derrick seems to be the smaller of the two, with Shane having quite a build and amount of weight on Derrick – But apparently these two are similar in styles?
Dan: Indeed so. From what I've heard, Mr Izendorf, who also happens to hail from the great land of Britain as do I, is astute in the ancient arts of British grappling, as is Mr Brooks. Mr Izendorf is also very quick with his strikes and use of cutters from what I've seen as well. I'd keep a close eye on these two.
Eaton: And introducing their opponents, first, weighing in at 170 lbs – Captain Marvelous! And his partner, hailing from Baystone City, Maine, weighing in at 215lbs – The Nor'Easter, Logan Halford Altus!
East: Captain Marvelous the only man, other than Izendorf who appeared in the battle royal briefly, out of these four to make his second appearance. For all the others it is their first, and man, what a fighter we saw out of Captain Marvelous last week!
Dan: Indeed, he may have heart, but does he have real fight? We shall see.
East: And this Logan Halford Altus, or as he likes to be known, Haltus or just Hal, he's a peppy fellow isn't he?
Dan: Surprisingly so. I knew his father, and man, what a different person he was. His father was a brutal, cold and cruel man. From what I've seen of Hal, he's more of a crowd pleaser, he likes those flippy dippy high flying moves like Captain Marvelous. I think these two may get along just beautifully.
East: The referee calls for the bell and Haltus and Izendorf start the match. Izendorf runs straight at Haltus, but Haltus strategically moves out of the way – He's too fresh to fall for that! Izendorf runs off the ropes and straight into Haltus' dropkick. Izendorf crashes to the mat and quickly crawls over to Shane Brooks, the bigger of the two on their team, but Haltus doesn't seem intimidated by the larger man! He's beckoning him to get into the ring with him! Shane Brooks holds his arm out and is basically giving Haltus a free limb here.
Dan: Mr Brooks is showing Haltus he's the better grappler here. He could give Hal a free limb to work with and still wrestle circles around him.
East: Haltus doesn't seem stupid enough to fall for it but – Punch straight to the face from Brooks and I think Hal understands that! Hal responds with a closed fist of his own! The referee gets between them to break up the brawl and with the referee between them Brooks takes advantage with an illegal eye rake! Was that so wise? He could have gotten disqualified!
Dan: All's fair in love and war, and ladies and gentlemen, this is war. You have to realise what's on the line here – There is only one dominant tag team in Wrestle Republic 2421 at the moment and that is the reigning tag team champions, Real Steel. Teams have to step up and prove themselves so they can get a shot at the tag team titles.
East: Do you think one of these teams are worthy of stepping up tonight, Sir Dan?
Dan: Personally? Maybe Izendorf and Brooks. They have the skill and guile to make it.
East: Back to our match and Haltus is forced to tag out, seeing as he can't, well, see. In comes Captain Marvelous to a raucous ovation from the crowd! He and Shane Brooks circle around each other as the Captain starts a slow clap, getting the audience into the match – Collar and elbow tie up, Irish whip from Captain Marvelous sends Brooks across the ring and as he ricochets back, beautiful headscissors take down brings Brooks to the mat! As Brooks gets up, Marvelous runs across the ring and dives off the ropes with a great springboard crossbody! He's really on fire now! Marvelous picks up Brooks and delivers a knife edge chop to his chest, and that sound just echoed across the arena!
Dan: I think I see Shane's chest going red. Ouch. They always hurt. That won't keep him down though. Not a man of his stature.
East: Captain Marvelous goes for another chop but this time Brooks blocks it and captures the arm whilst hooking the other – Double underhook suplex sends Captain Marvelous flying into the corner of Derrick Izendorf and Shane Brooks! This isn't looking too good.
Dan: Strategic tag team wrestling I think now. Just keep the smaller man isolated. They have this now.
East: Brooks now tagging Izendorf back in and they both unleash punches on Marvelous in the corner, the referee starts the five count – Brooks gets out just before the five! Headlock takeover from Izendorf to Marvelous brings the Captain sitting upright on the floor and – Oh my, you could hear that out in the scrap heaps! Stiff kick right between the shoulder blades and Marvelous hasn't even gone down! Izendorf runs the ropes and hits a diving elbow into a cover on Marvelous whose back finally stays on the mat! Referee starts the pin, 1.... 2....
East: Kickout from Marvelous! We've seen his resiliency before and we're seeing it right now – What will it take to keep the Captain down?
Dan: Probably a lot more from that, but don't worry – Izendorf and Brooks both have a lot more weapons still left in their arsenals.
East: Izendorf picks up Captain Marvelous and places him in his corner and starts unleashing kicks on him like crazy! The referee gets between Izendorf and Marvelous but – Oh, come on! Brooks on the outside choking the life out of Marvelous! The crowd isn't liking this at all!
Dan: I don't see why they're not liking it! This is great! What did I say? Textbook tag team wrestling!
East: I don't think Captain Marvelous likes it either as he's starting to fight back with a kick knocking Brooks off the apron, but now Izendorf smashes Marvelous with a roaring elbow when his back is turned! This is getting nasty. Izendorf picking up Marvelous now and powerbombs him onto the turnbuckle! Holy cow, that had to hurt. Even the fans who before were showing utter disregard of Derrick Izendorf are speechless at that powerful move!
Dan: Wow, that WAS pretty nice. Those turnbuckles are solid as hell and that would have been one hell of a bump.
East Cover here from Izendorf, 1... 2...
East: Tremendous kickout there! Marvelous now still in Izendorf and Brooks' corner, as Izendorf goes to the top rope – What's he going for here – He's going for a big senton dive! MUTINY! But wait – Captain Marvelous has scouted it well and rolls out of the way! He just needs to make it to his own corner and tag in Haltus who's dying to get in the ring!
Dan: I think that was just instinctive there. If Derrick would have hit that, it would have probably been over.
East: Marvelous almost there at his corner, but Izendorf tags in Shane Brooks who charges in and grabs the legs of Captain Marvelous and pulls one of them into a single legged Boston Crab, weakening that leg there, that's gonna make it hard to pull off any high flying moves, right?
Dan: Indeed. It'll also make it hard to walk, run, and kick arse.
East: Marvelous opting to not go for the ropes and instead is going for the hand of his partner, Logan Halford Altus! Will he make the tag?
East: Marvelous almost gets there but Izendorf pulls Haltus off the apron from the outside! Wait a minute – dropkick from Haltus to Izendorf on the outside! Captain Marvelous now on the inside has reached the ropes! Referee breaks up the hold and – Superkick from Captain Marvelous! Superkick sends Brooks to the mat! Marvelous tags in Haltus who climbs to the top rope – What's this? Skyforger! That Phoenix Splash was a thing of beauty!
Dan: I've done better.
East: Cover! 1.... 2....
East: 3! Haltus gets it for his team! Logan and Marvelous win!
Eaton: Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of this match – Captain Marvelous and Logan Halford Altus!
Dan: That was a pretty good showing. Shame about Brooks and Izendorf, but they look like they're up to something.
East: You're right, they've just thrown Haltus out of the ring and are starting a beatdown on the helpless Captain Marvelous with a chair! Stop this now!
Dan: They're just making an impact. Telling their story. They want to be taken seriously.
East: Haltus rolls in the ring now and Derrick and Shane have stopped – Derrick offers his weapon to Haltus! Does he want Haltus to join in on this beatdown? What's all this about?
Dan: I think Derrick knows of Haltus' past. His father's past. He must think Logan is like his father.
East:Logan seems to like the idea as he's taken the chair off of Derrick and goes to swing at Marvelous – Don't do it! Wait, he's stopped.... And he's running at Brooks and Izendorf with the chair!
Dan: I have to admit, that was pretty daring by those two there. They could have just beaten down Haltus, but they stopped to show him some psychology. To show that they know him and his past.
East: Haltus now posing in the ring with his partner, Captain Marvelous and – Wait a minute! The lights have gone out!
East: Hey! That's Real Steel in the ring! The Wrestle Republic 2421 Tag Team Champions! They've both got chairs and are decimating Haltus and Captain Marvelous! They've got no business being here!
Dan: They just can't catch a break, can they, Haltus and Marvelous?
East: Brooks and Izendorf tried to make a statement earlier on but I think there was a louder statement made just now by the tag team champions who've just picked up Haltus and – Clink Clank Tank! Vicious Con Chair To! Super Destroyman and Atom have shown who they think the best tag team in Wrestle Republic 2421 are, themselves!
Dan: Indeed. You may think they had no business being here tonight, but I think they do. They have a racket on tag teams here – If a tag team match goes down, they want to be a part of it. They want to have no doubts about who is the best tag team. They don't want to be forgotten.
East: I don't think this beatdown will be forgotten anytime soon. Ladies and Gentlemen, join us after the break where we will crown our first ever Hardcore Champion!
Hardcore Championship Match – Ugg VS ???
Eaton: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is a Junkyard Rules Match and is for the Hardcore Championship! Introducing first, from The Land Before Time, weighing in at two and a half Pterodactyl Eggs – The Chaotic Caveman, Ugg!
East: Ugg certainly made an impact last week didn't he? He takes on an unknown opponent tonight for the hardcore championship and – Wait, where's my broadcast colleague going? Sir Dan is now going into the ring and – He's got a long steel pipe! He catches Ugg from behind with that pipe and lays him out! I thought Sir Dan was injured and out for good? He knocks Ugg out clean with that pipe and is laying in boots while he's on the floor! Sir Dan now picking up Ugg – Excalibur! Big time spike piledriver there that may have broken Ugg's neck! That looked vicious!
Horns and other Germanic instruments start to play as Dumpy Von Dumpenpuffler wobbles down the ramp with a referee.
East: Sir Dan joining us back on commentary – What was all that about? Wait a minute here – The bell's rang! This must be the mystery opponent! Dumpy wasting no time and he's just ran and sat on Ugg! What the hell? Pin now – 1.... 2....
East: Referee counts to 3! What the? What does this mean?
Eaton: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner, and new Wrestle Republic 2421 Hardcore Champion – Dumpy Von Dumpenpuffler!
Dan: Hah. Hahahah.
East: No way! You knew this was going to happen!
Dan: I was just getting payback. I may still have a concussion and be unable to compete due to that brute lying there in the ring, but I will not take a beating lying down. You know what they say about payback. Dumpy and I made a little deal. He said if I helped him win and got vengeance tonight against that Neanderthal, I'd be first in line for a title shot.
East: This must mean that Dumpy is our new Hardcore Champion! He certainly seems pleased as he's – He's doing a dance! That must be a traditional German dance he's doing with his title! You have got to be kidding me! And, wait a minute, Doctor Hal Gorbachev is out here! The owner and general manager is out here!
Dan: What's he up to now? No good I suppose. Don't give him a mic!
Hal: Dan, I just saw what you did from the back. Congratulations, you got your payback. And I checked with the doctors – You were actually fit for competition. But, seeing you tonight, I made a decision. Until I see fit, due to your actions – You are banned from in ring competition until further notice!
Dan: No! What the hell!
East: The crowd certainly like the idea of this, Sir Dan!
Dan: No, this is absolute rubbish! I won't stand for this! This – This is outrageous!
Hal: And if you don't uphold to your contract and continue commentary I will have no choice but to release you from your contract! And as for this match, I also have no choice but to crown Dumpy von Dumpenpuffler the new Hardcore Champion, as there are no rules to a Junkyard Match, he was technically doing no wrong. However, he WILL defend his title next week in a Junkyard Battle Royal! Thank you for your time everyone, and enjoy the rest of the show!
East: Wow. What an announcement. What do you think about that?
Dan: No comment. No comment at all. Just get on with the show. I'm pissed off as hell right now, but I can make a cheque without having to prove myself between those ropes, so be it. Everyone here already knows how good I am.
East: Now we have exclusive footage of our World Champion Suit Beardy, let's see what he has to say about tonight's triple threat World Heavyweight Championship match -
An interviewer is running after Suit Beardy backstage. He is carrying his World Heavyweight Championship and wearing a suit, of course.
Interviewer: Mr Beardy? Mr Beardy? A quick word, please?
Beardy stops and slowly turns around, his alien gaze staring a hole in the camera, almost as if his steely eyes are looking directly into your soul, and what the eyes see in your soul are not satisfactory at all.
Beardy: I am one step closer to my goal. Soon, all of you will wear suits. All of you will be... like me. Soon. Soon.
Beardy continues to scowl at the camera, then begins to slowly walk away, eventually turning his back. The camera starts to shake, then gradually fades to black.
Global Network Championship Match – Autumn VS Hyper Blizzard
Eaton: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is set for one fall and is for the Global Network Championship! The match will be held under Global Network Championship rules - There will be a strict 20 minute time limit and all normal rules apply, however, the championship can change hands on a disqualification or count out! Introducing first, hailing from Kingston, Ontario, Canada and weighing in at 125lbs – Autumn Meszaros!
East: Autumn Meszaros certainly a favourite with the crowd tonight! Autumn also one of the many second generation wrestlers in Wrestle Republic, and I hear she's representing her country of – Canada?
Dan: A great place that once was. Note the adjective – was.
East: What do you think of her in ring skill, from what you've seen?
Dan: Decent, at best. She's nothing compared to her mother or father, or hell, her opponent tonight.
East: I'm sure Autumn will try and prove you wrong here.
Eaton: And introducing her opponent, hailing from Seattle, Washington and weighing in at 120lbs – Hyper Blizzard!
East: Hyper Blizzard is a crazy, crazy lady. We saw that last week.
Dan: Crazy can be good. Crazy is aggression. Aggression is power. Despite what you see from Blizzard, she may be crazy and vicious, but she's also smart. She has a lot of smarts. A lot of skill.
East: But doesn't Autumn Meszaros have a lot of skill, both technically and from the top rope?
Dan: Maybe so. But she can't match Hyper Blizzard's sheer brutality. No-one can match that.
East: Referee now explaining the rules to the competitors as he calls for the bell – Autumn extends her hand to Hyper Blizzard, but Blizzard is just staring Autumn dead in the face. No respect from Blizzard to Autumn.
Dan: Autumn and Blizzard I think know each other. I think Autumn was surprised a little by Hyper Blizzard's behaviour last week. We'll see if that psychology did her any good – But I think it did. I think Blizzard's really got into Autumn's head here.
East: Speaking of getting into heads, side headlock takeover by Hyper Blizzard starting us off, and Hyper Blizzard dropping down with a kick into the back of Autumn. Ouch. Autumn on the mat and Blizzard runs the ropes and drops a knee right on her face. Blizzard stand up and starts to choke the Autumn with her boot – Come on! She'll get disqualified!
Dan: Nope, she has until 5. She's using the full extent of that count there, real smart. Impressive.
East: The fans certainly don't find it impressive! Hyper Blizzard pulling up Autumn now, delivering a stiff forearm strike right on the button! Autumn's fighting back now though, just straight up slapping Blizzard in the face!
Dan: This is breaking down now. This just turned from a match into a fight.
East: You may be right as Autumn is delivering some hard knife edge chops to the chest of Hyper Blizzard! Irish whip now from Autumn who – Oh my! Jumping knee straight in the face of Hyper Blizzard who hits the mat hard! Pin now, this could be it, Blizzard may be out early! 1...2....
East: Kick out! Courageous kick out from Hyper Blizzard!
Dan: Of course Hyper Blizzard is courageous. She's a hero to all of these people. These kids just want to be like her, and who wouldn't? That knee strike from Autumn may have been brutal, but Hyper Blizzard will have better than that, I'll assure you.
East: You may be right as Autumn pulls Blizzard up and – Throat thrust from Blizzard! Constant bending of the rules from Hyper Blizzard! Blizzard now pulling Autumn into a Muay Thai clutch and administering those knees close in to the face! Autumn's beginning to claw and fight back and she goes for a toe kick – Blizzard pushes her back, and Autumn bounces off the ropes but – Oof! Straight into an STO from Hyper Blizzard!
Dan: S-T-Oh yeah. That was great.
East: Hyper Blizzard straight on top of Autumn now, she's punching the hell out of Autumn with those illegal closed fists! Referee now forcing Blizzard off Autumn, giving her a few warnings! He can't keep allowing this to go on!
Dan: This is a championship match. There has to be some lee-way.
East: I don't know about that. Hyper Blizzard now walking back over to grab Autumn but – Autumn's got a lock on Hyper Blizzard's arm! She's got her in a crossface! That's gotta be painful! Hyper Blizzard a world away from the ropes now and she's in a world of pain! She's trying to crawl but Autumn Meszaros has that crossface locked in hella tight!
Dan: How would you know? Have you ever had a crossface applied on you?
East: No, and I woul-
Dan: Come over here and I'll show you how it's done!
East: Don't test your luck Dan, the Doctor already banned you from in ring competition tonight, and besides, I've covered wars, y'know! Anyway, back to the match – Hyper Blizzard now to the middle of the ring and she's managing to get some leverage and - She's rolled over and put Autumn into a pinning predicament! Referee starts the count – 1.... 2....
East: Autumn rolls over and breaks up the pin, but she's still got that arm locked! This time she's got an armbar and Blizzard is still in the centre of the ring! And you said Autumn didn't have any technical skill!
Dan: She's just getting lucky. Blizzard's going to expertly reverse this any minute and snap that maple leaf like a twig.
East: Blizzard manages to get to the ropes now and Autumn has to break up – She doesn't want to get disqualified unlike a certain someone.
Dan: Hey, what can I say? Hyper Blizzard is willing to do whatever it takes. I don't think Autumn is willing to do that, she's too embroiled in getting the fans on her side.
East: Autumn not letting Blizzard get up as she's straight on her with slaps and strikes and an Irish whip to the ropes – But wait! Spear! Spear from Blizzard brings Autumn to the mat!
Dan: That was one nasty spear. Could have broken her in half. Hopefully.
East: What in the blue hell do you have against Autumn?
Dan: She's just a panderer. And not one that eats shoots and leaves either.
East: I'll take your word for it as Blizzard isn't done and is taking a leaf out of the Maple Leaf Maiden's book – Blizzard is going for some kind of top rope move! A diving double stomp straight onto Autumn Meszaros! That had to hurt!
Dan: I've taken a fair few stomps like that. Yup, there aren't many moves that hurt as much as that. I believe that is called the Seraphim Stomp.
East: Cover now from Hyper Blizzard, we could have a new Global Network champion- 1.... 2....
East: Kick out! Autumn Meszaros now with the courageous kick out!
Dan: Courageous? That was stupid. She's just going to get her head kicked in now by Blizzard. She's just angered the storm.
East: Both ladies are down as the referee starts a ten count – Blizzard is up first and picks up Autumn with some forearms to the face but Autumn now – big roundhouse kick knocks Blizzard down! Autumn runs the ropes and – Springboard crossbody before Hyper Blizzard can even hit the mat! Autumn's not going for a cover now but going to the top rope herself! What is on this woman's mind?
Dan: That was stupid. She should have just gone for a cover. Not like she'd have won, but still.
East: Autumn Meszaros now I believe is going for that amazing Corkscrew Shooting Star Press – There it is! Petal Storm! No! Hyper Blizzard rolls out of the way and Autumn crashes and burns! That's why they call it high risk, folks!
Dan: Could you be any more stereotypical?!?
East: Autumn now clutching her stomach in the corner and the referee is seeing to her, making sure she's fit to compete. This looks bad.
Dan: She should just quit now.
East: Blizzard making her way over to Autumn with the referee inbetween them, and Autumn is up! Autumn goes to punch Blizzard and the referee ducks, but Blizzard has Autumn's hand and – Blue mist! The referee hasn't seen it! Blizzard backs off now as Autumn is trying to see and – What the hell? Autumn just superkicked the referee!
Dan: Aha! Well done!
East: The referee has no choice but to call for the bell and disqualify Autumn Meszaros for that blatant attack, but come on! That was obviously meant for Hyper Blizzard! She was blinded from that mist!
Dan: I told you she's crafty. Autumn just wasn't quick enough.
Eaton: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner via a disqualification, and new Global Network Champion – Hyper Blizzard!
East: I don't think Autumn Meszaros is impressed at all by this result – She got screwed! The fans aren't happy either! She's coming around after getting the Blue Mist out of her eyes and she's walking up to the celebrating Hyper Blizzard who turns around – Superkick to Hyper Blizzard now! Now she hits the mark!
Dan: It doesn't count now though, unfortunately for her. She may be walking out tall, but she's not walking out the champion.
East: Hyper Blizzard is just lay laughing in pain on the mat, clutching her new championship as Autumn Meszaros walks off in disbelief. Now we go backstage to Duke Nukem who's the third competitor in tonight's World Heavyweight Championship Triple Threat!
Duke Nukem is backstage in the Gorilla position, set to make his entrance. An interviewer catches him with a cigar in his mouth.
Interviewer: Mr Duke Nukem, can I have a word please? Tonight, you take on T. Hawk and the new Champion Suit Beardy in a match for the World Heavyweight Championship. Last week was surrounded by controversy, namely the end of the battle royal, but what comments do you have to make before you go out and fight these two men?
Duke looks at the interviewer, and takes a big puff of his cigar, before placing it in his pocket.
Duke: I'm not coming to fight them. I'm coming to kick their asses.
[i]Duke Nukem walks through the curtain as his music starts to play to a large reception from the live crowd at Midnight Madness.
East: Short and sweet, I like it. Ladies and Gentlemen, stay tuned because after the break we have Duke Nukem and T. Hawk taking on the World Champion Suit Beardy in a Triple Threat Match to decide the World Heavyweight Champion of Wrestle Republic 2421 – You can't miss it!
World Heavyweight Championship Match – T. Hawk VS Duke Nukem VS Suit Beardy ©
East: Duke Nukem is already in the ring, he's doing his warm ups as we await the other two competitors in this match. Here comes T. Hawk with his manager Zangief, and what great charitable spirits they are!
Dan: I think they're hypocrites. They're just in it for the fame. They're just being nice so people will like them.
East: Well, isn't that the point?
Dan: I don't know about you, but I'm nice to make money. To sell merchandise. That's all they're doing.
East: That's completely your opinion, Sir Dan. Nevertheless, you can't deny T. Hawk is a fearsome competitor. You saw the strength he displayed in that training package!
Dan: But he's stupid. He has nothing on this man.
East: The champion Suit Beardy now making his entrance – He's got a brand new spanking suit on and he's displaying the gold proudly. Should he be so proud of that victory from last week?
Dan: I would be. A victory is a victory where championships are concerned, Jason.
East: Now all the competitors are in the ring we bring you to our ring announcer for tonight, Mr David Eaton!
Eaton: Ladies and Gentlemen, it is time for your main event of the evening! This match is set for one fall with no time limit and will be held under triple threat rules! The first man to achieve a pinfall or submission victory will be declared the Wrestle Republic 2421 World Heavyweight Champion! Introducing first, the challengers – First, hailing from “Wherever the Alien Bastards Dare to Step Foot”, weighing in at 268lbs, he is Earth's Greatest Hero – Duke Nukem!
East: Duke raising his arms mighty for the crowd. They're loving it.
Dan: Don't see why. He's a cocky son of gun that needs to get his mouth shut. Beardy's gonna do it tonight.
Eaton: And the other challenger, hailing from Native America, weighing in at 360lbs and being accompanied to the ring by the Red Cyclone Viktor Zangief...He is the Silent Giant – Thunder Hawk!
East: A lot of appreciation shown to T. Hawk tonight, especially from the less endowed members of the crowd, I heard T. Hawk shared some of his wealth with them, they must be so grateful.
Dan: Pff. Being a philanthropist is only for those who are too stupid to know what to do with money.
Eaton: And finally, he is the reigning... and defending Wrestle Republic Heavyweight Champion of the World... Hailing from Parts Unknown, weighing in at 140lbs – He is the Evil Suit Wearing Mastermind.... Suit Beardy!
East: And of course, no love lost from the crowd for Suit Beardy tonight. I think they really do hate him.
Dan: I don't know why. Look at him! He's so stylish and cool. These peasants are just jealous their dress sense sucks.
East: Real big match feel in the Armbar Error Society Arena tonight, substantially bigger crowd tonight and it is no surprise when you have main events as big as this! The referee rings the bell and we're getting this big main event underway! All three men starting off in the ring but Suit Beardy is trying to dictate the pace already, instructing Duke Nukem and T. Hawk to fight each other, but they're having none of it! They're both unloading bombs on Beardy!
Dan: This seems familiar. Beardy's always feeling the brunt of the anger of these two men.
East: You're right there, but don't you think he deserves it? Duke and T. Hawk have dumped Suit Beardy over the top now, and it's just the two of them in the centre of the ring.
Dan: If only they could have done that last week, maybe this match would just be the two of them for the World Championship. But no, they had to put on a show on the outside like blooming idiots.
East: They weren't putting on a show, they were fighting for position, just like they are now! Duke's letting T. Hawk take the first shot here, he's puffing out his chest – I think he saw that video of T. Hawk chopping that dummy and he wants to test his chops!
Dan: Come on now, that's just stupid. How thick is this guy?
East: T. Hawk now swinging back and, oh wow, that was a painful chop! That had to hurt Duke, but he's not showing it as he fires back at T. Hawk now with a chop of his own! T. Hawk isn't hurt either and now he chops Duke again but I think Duke's starting to show it now as he crumbles to one of his knees. Zangief is loving this, he's sat on a chair on the outside and he's clapping T. Hawk along!
Dan: There's only so much pain you can tolerate from a man the size of T. Hawk. Duke's stupid for even trying to go one on one with him, you should only pick fights you know you can win.
East: Duke isn't a coward like you though, Sir Dan.
Dan: I'm not a coward! Did you see what I did to that stupid caveman earlier?!?
East: Yes, but you caught him from behind. Now back on to the match – T. Hawk is picking up Duke now with a two handed choke lift – He must be going for a choke bomb here, and he nails it. Big ovation from the crowd as T. Hawk managed to pick up Duke by his neck! That must have took a lot of strength as Duke isn't exactly a small man either. T. Hawk now placing his hands down and pinning Duke, referee counting the pin – 1... 2...
East: Beardy runs in and breaks up the pin! Wise move there, if T. Hawk pinned Duke he would be the new champion and Beardy would have had no say in it. Beardy now giving elbows to T. Hawk who is still on one knee. Beardy runs the ropes and clotheslines T. Hawk to the mat! Duke is getting up and he clotheslines him also! Beardy is actually controlling this match and I think he looks as surprised as I am!
Dan: I don't think so. There's a reason why he's called the Evil Suit Wearing Mastermind.
East: Beardy now taking his time going inbetween Duke and T. Hawk, letting neither of them get to their feet, giving them both a taste of his kicks and elbows on the mat. Beardy running up for a big knee to T. Hawk. Oof. That's gotta smart! Duke getting up behind Beardy now though and Beardy turns around to Duke – Duke's getting in his face now! He just said something to Beardy and – Wonderful DDT!
Dan: I believe he just said something to the effect of, and I quote - “Choke on this, you alien bastard.”
East: I think he means business. Duke grabbing Beardy by the legs now and – He's swinging him around! That's a giant swing there, he's gotta be sending Beardy real dizzy there!
Dan: I don't think it's doing much damage but it's getting these peasants behind him real well.
East: T. Hawk now standing up and – He's just watching Duke and admiring his work! Duke finishes the move and sends Beardy flying and – Duke's offering Beardy to T. Hawk! What's T. Hawk gonna do now – He's got Beardy by the legs now and he's doing a Giant Swing of his own!
Dan: Oh here we go again.
East: T. Hawk swinging Beardy around and he throws him straight out of the ring! I think T. Hawk wins on distance but – Oof! He turns around into a punch from Duke Nukem. I think playtime is over, as he would say. Repeated punches to the gut and face from Duke Nukem, and he's got T. Hawk by the arm, I think he's going for some kind of uranage, but T. Hawk blocks it with a chop to the side of Duke's head, sending him dizzy. T. Hawk now pulling Duke in for a belly to belly suplex! Oh my. Duke was just sent flying from T. Hawk – The ring shook from the impact!
Dan: Deja-vu there.
East: Of what exactly?
Dan: Never mind.
East: T. Hawk ascending to the top rope, I think he may be going for one of his signature manoeuvres already, that looks like a Condor Dive! T. Hawk jumping with a Condor Dive but Duke moves out of the way! T. Hawk crashes to the mat in a heap and – Wait! Beardy runs in and – Speedy Trial! Running Big Boot from Suit Beardy to Duke Nukem! Duke on the mat, cover! Beardy could retain his championship! 1....2.....
East: Kick out! Beardy now rolls over to T. Hawk trying to pin him, but T. Hawk kicks out even before 1!
Dan: Smart there from Beardy. Even if he didn't pin T. Hawk, that was intimidation 101 there. He showed T. Hawk he was right on top of his Native American arse.
East: T. Hawk is now leaping to his feet to the disbelief of Suit Beardy, who wants no part of him! Beardy rolls out of the ring and runs around the outside! T. Hawk goes to run after him, but he's just not quick enough! Wait, what's this? Duke Nukem with a massive clothesline to Beardy on the outside from out of nowhere! Where did he come from? Duke and T. Hawk now throwing Beardy back in the ring, Duke going for the cover but – Hey! T. Hawk pulls Duke off of Beardy!
Dan: Whoops. Looks like this alliance just broke.
East: Duke now really getting in T. Hawk's face and he's just shoved him! That's got to be demoralising at least! T. Hawk is NOT impressed at all! T. Hawk now with a massive headbutt to Duke Nukem, but holding onto him – Irish whip from Hawk to Duke – sidewalk slam! Duke is down and I think he's just angered T. Hawk in the worst way possible – Now he has beef with both of these men! T. Hawk now going to pick Suit Beardy up, but Beardy nails T. Hawk with an uppercut and it actually seems to have hurt him! That caught T. Hawk right on the chin and it's brought the big man to his knees! Beardy now brings T. Hawk into a clutch and is giving him elbows right in the face and on his nose – I think he's bust his nose! T. Hawk is bleeding all over the mat! Big elbow now from Beardy drops T. Hawk to the mat finally. Beardy is waiting for T. Hawk to get up now as Duke is still down from that big side-walk slam from before!
Dan: Beardy really hit T. Hawk on the button there. Even the big guy's gonna feel a strike like that from Beardy. He may not be as muscled as the two other men in this match but he certainly makes up for in speed and skill what he lacks in power.
East: You say that a lot about the smaller men in Wrestle Republic, don't you?
Dan: Well, it's generally true. You ever heard of a small guy who's good at power moves?
East: I suppose I have to agree with you there, T. Hawk getting up now and I think Beardy is setting up for the Speedy Trial – He's running – Mighty Foot out of nowhere! Duke Nukem just delivered a massive boot to the face to Suit Beardy, knocking him out clean! T. Hawk runs at Duke now, but Duke ducks out of the way, sending T. Hawk crashing to the outside! Nukem now with the pin on Beardy, 1... 2...
East: No! The pin's been broken up by T. Hawk, who drags Duke to the outside! Big brawl now on the outside! T. Hawk going for a big time chop but Duke dodges it with a spin, and he's just caught T. Hawk with a massive spinning backfist on the outside! I think that just opened up Hawk more as blood drizzles down his face and chest! T. Hawk is leaning on the barricade now as Beardy joins them on the outside. He looks slightly dazed still and goes to give Duke a slap, but Duke's got Beardy now and – He's thrown Beardy into T. Hawk who both go crashing through the barricade and into the laps of our fans! Complete devastation as Beardy was used as a human missile!
Dan: Duke likes big guns, and that there was a rocket launcher. I'm not a big fan of this man's personality but he's sure backing it up right now. Let's see if he can finish what he started. Mr Zangief looks concerned, heh. Almost like he's going to leave the comfort of his chair.
East: Duke now throwing Beardy back into the ring and now Duke is waiting for Beardy to get up, I think he's looking for that Shotgun Blast clothesline as he's motioning to the crowd with his arm, he's charging it up – Beardy moves out of the way and Duke goes crashing into the turnbuckle – Quick rollup from Beardy now! This could be it! 1.... 2....
East: Kickout! Wow, that was something there! I'm really surprised Duke kicked out of that quick pin there! The match still continues and I think Beardy is wondering what he has to do to keep either of these men down!
Dan: He's still got a few tricks left. Be patient.
East: T. Hawk has gotten up on the outside and is perched on the top turnbuckle – What's he thinking here? He's dived off and – Tomahawk buster to Beardy! T. Hawk goes in for the pin but Duke breaks it up before the referee can even begin to count! T. Hawk has just gotten up and – Wow! Look at his eyes! Look at his face! He looks like an angry, bloody mess!
Dan: If I was Duke, I'd run.
East. You're not Duke now though, are you? T. Hawk runs at Duke Nukem, but Duke dodges out of the way and T. Hawk is in the corner – Big clothesline from Duke to T. Hawk in the corner and I think Duke is setting T. Hawk up for some kind of top rope move, he's propping him up there, what's he thinking?
Dan: I sure hope this ring is reinforced.
East: Indeed it is, we had it reinforced before last week's battle royal as I believe Duke is going for some kind of Superplex but – Big chop from T. Hawk now dizzies Duke and these men are trading blows on the top rope! Shadows of last week when they were fighting on the ring apron!
Dan: Oh gee, here we go again. This doesn't look good for either man. These sycophantic idiots on the outside are living this – Don't be stupid! One of your heroes could get hurt really bad here! That's a big drop!
East: I think they know the nature of the beast, Sir Dan. Two big fists from Duke under the chin of T. Hawk, and I think Duke has the momentum now but – T. Hawk is up! He's grabbed Duke in some kind of position and – What's this? Raging Typhoon! Holy crap! The whole arena just shook as T. Hawk just gutwrench powerbombed Duke Nukem from the top rope and the crowd is going absolutely wild!
Dan: Even I have to say that was really impressive. Zangief, who's been sat down this entire match has actually gotten out of his seat to cheer the bloodied T. Hawk on.
East: T. Hawk can't even make his way to cover and – Hey, wait, what the hell? Beardy from out of nowhere just booted T. Hawk in his already damaged face! Beardy now with the cover on Duke Nukem, no, no, no! 1.... 2....
East: Kickout! No way! Duke Nukem just kicked out of the Raging Typhoon! This crowd is going ballistic as Beardy thought he had retained his World Championship! He is in sheer disbelief! T. Hawk and Duke Nukem are still down and Beardy doesn't know what to do here! I think his whole world just crashing down in front of him and he doesn't know where to go!
Dan: Go back to the start Beardy! Lay in those strikes and go for a big move! You've got this!
East: Beardy has now rolled T. Hawk out of the ring, he's getting ready to finish this I think as he goes to the top rope – He's going for that diving splash, the Sentenced to Death! Beardy is on the top rope, waiting for Duke to get on his hands on knees, I think – But in comes T. Hawk! He's rolled in and has got Beardy in an iron claw – He's going for that Raging Slash! He's got that grip tight on Beardy even though he's obviously weakened – He's dripping red all over the place!
Dan: If I was Zangief I'd throw the towel in for T. Hawk. He could have some serious damage there.
East: Duke Nukem is up now though – Mighty Foot to the back of T. Hawk who releases his grip on Suit Beardy, who is still perched on the top rope! That Mighty Foot didn't even bring T. Hawk to his knees, he's turned around now and is looking Duke in the face – We're back to the start once more!
Dan: I can't believe this match hasn't finished yet. I have to admit, these men are really going to the distance. Congratulations to all of them, especially the champion, of course.
East: T. Hawk now with a Toe Kick to Duke Nukem, and he's got him in gutwrench, he's going for a grounded Raging Typhoon, and he hits it! He hits the gutwrench powerbomb on Duke Nukem – But wait! Before T. Hawk can even get off the mat from delivering that move, Beardy just leapt out of the air! He's just hit his finishing move! Sentenced to Death! Cover now from Beardy to T. Hawk – 1.... 2...
East: 3! Beardy has retained the World Heavyweight Championship in his first title defence!
Dan: Wow. That was a true heroes victory. I think any doubts anyone had about Suit Beardy can be put aside after that match.
East: I wouldn't say it was completely heroic, but somewhat lucky! Do you think Beardy could retain in a one on one match against either of these men? They did the most damage to themselves! Beardy just picked up the pieces!
Dan: We'll see. I think Beardy will be champion for a very long time. He's a great champion. And besides, he made T. Hawk bleed! Look at him there, lying in a puddle of his own blood! Beardy did that to him! Duke didn't do that!
Eaton: Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this bout and STILL Wrestle Republic 2421 World Heavyweight Champion – The Evil Suit Wearing Mastermind, Suit Beardy!
East: Beardy now making his way up the ramp to jeers from the crowd, still holding the gold for tonight!
Dan: He certainly looks proud. I would be.
East: He did show a lot of fight tonight, I have to admit. T. Hawk is now going over to Zangief, they seem to be talking and treating T. Hawk's wounds... They can't be impressed with that. Neither can Duke Nukem. He's clutching his back on the inside of the ring while T. Hawk is sat on the outside, and I think he's starting to sign some autographs. He's a good sport at least, but you have to wonder what damage those two powerbombs did to Duke Nukem. Duke's rolled out of the ring now and – He's shook T. Hawk's hand! They're both good sports!
Dan: But they're not winners, East.
East: Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you once again for joining us on the Global Network for Hallow's Eve Midnight Madness! Please, tune in next week for Wrestle Republic 2421 – Starstruck!Please also stay tuned during the week for updates from Doctor Hal Gorbachev – Thank you for watching and good night!