Wrestle Republic 2421 Street Spiritby admin on October 18, 2015, 7:38 pm

Originally posted January 23rd, 2012


Street Spirit – A song in 1996 by the British band Radiohead. The song deals with dark and tragic emotions without any glimmer of resolve. Thom Yorke, the writer of the song, is quoted as saying that “'Street Spirit' is about staring the...devil right in the eyes, and knowing, no matter what the hell you do, he'll get the last laugh. And it's real, and true. The devil really will get the last laugh in all cases without exception, and if I let myself think about that too long, I'd crack.” Tonight is about hope for many people. Titles and contender ships are up for grabs. Alliances will be tested. Will there be a light at the end of the tunnel? Or will they simply... Fade out?

The sullen tones of Yorke radiate amongst the fans of the arena, giving it an unearthly chill. The large gaggle of fans cheer unknowingly, just excited to be at a large gathering of people with warmth and without danger. Large numbers of T. Hawk fans are scattered around the audience, wearing the official merchandise of the Wrestle Republic 2421 World Heavyweight Champion. Hyper Blizzard fanboy is back in his seat in the front row, now sporting a neckbrace and holding a sign declaring “BLIZZARD WAS SCREWED.” The Fans around him seem to be appalled at either his attitude or his odour. Or maybe both. The camera finishes panning around the arena and eventually settles upon the announce table, where sits Sir Dan Danielson the Third as well as Jason East.

East: Welcome to Street Spirit! I hope you are ready for tonight – We have a night for you, oh boy we do!

Dan: We do indeed. Hey Jason, guess what?

East: What is it?

Dan: Tonight we have two tag team matches, and my boy Derry's in this one coming up right now! And he's going to kick a head off someone! I'm so excited.

East: Well, that's not the only match tonight, we have that big tag team main event fea-

Dan: Shh. Here comes Mike now. He's gonna introduce him.

Tag Team Match – Derrick Izendorf and Shane Brooks VS ???

Eaton: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following is a tag team match set for one fall! Introducing first, the team of Shane Brooks and Derrick Izendorf!

East: Now, I know you're going to say it anyway, but here goes – This team of Brooks and Izendorf are certainly impressive, aren't they?

Dan: You're damn right. Both of them are real impressive grapplers, especially Brooks, and Derrick has that quickness and natural British charisma you just either have or you don't.

East: I'm not sure the fans share your opinion, however. Both have used... questionable tactics in the past, haven't they?

Dan: Hey, you have to win by any means necessary.

Eaton: And ladies and gentlemen, here to introduce their opponents – The proprietor of Wrestle Republic 2421 – Doctor Hal Gorbachev!

Doctor Hal walks out onto the top of the stage to a mild response of cheers. He looks slightly embarrassed and somewhat pale. After a fit of coughs, he begins to speak into a microphone.

Hal: The opponents for Mr Brooks and Izendorf tonight have been specially selected by me, and as a matter of fact, they have been specially trained by me. Ladies and Gentlemen, the opponents for Mr Brooks and Izendorf tonight are my assistants – David Samson and Mikey Sasaki!

Dan: Aha, who?

East: Uh, I've seen them about. Aren't they just lab boys?

Dan: Here they come now! Oh my God. Look at those skinny legs!

David Samson and Mikey Sasaki, both young, unathletic men walk out wearing one piece wrestling outfits. Samson is overweight and has hair reaching down to his back and looks to be very nervous. Mikey Sasaki is a skinny half Japanese male, and is enjoying the small reception the crowd is giving them, posing extravagantly. In the ring, Brooks is already on the apron waiting, whilst Derrick Izendorf has a massive gaping smile on his face. Samson gingerly gets up onto the apron, and is greeted by Derrick pulling him in and the referee ringing the bell. As soon as it rings, Derrick chops Samson in the chest, rippling fat and causing him to scream loudly in pain.

East: And here we go! Derrick straight away with that vicious chop, jeez! I felt that from over here! Derrick delivering those chops time and time again, and Samson is barely moving, he's just stuck in the ropes – The referee has to start the count and Izendorf backs off. 

Dan: Getting in that damage quick. Oh man, this is going to be a clinic. Look at him now with those low kicks! High level footsies right here, folks!

East: High le- Look at that! That DDT was vicious! Derry isn't even going for the cover, he's just locking in an armbar, just wrenching the arm! I think if Samson was fully conscious, he'd be tapping right now! Stop this match, ref! Stop the match!

Dan: Oh, we're only just getting started.

East: Derry now pointing over to Sasaki, he wants Sasaki in now! Izendorf is just dragging Samson over to Sasaki's corner who's just frozen in fear and he's just forced David Samson to make the tag to his partner, Mikey Sasaki, who does not look impressed at all.

Dan: Would you be if you had to go up against Izendorf when he's on a roll like this? Look at Brooks now on the apron. He's just reading a book! He knows Izendorf has this. Everyone knows. The fans know too, they're just booing the hell out of my boy, and I really don't know why! He's awesome! He's fantastic! He- He just got punched in the face by Sasaki! What the hell?

East: Hah! There we go, Mikey! You ge- Oh dear. The look on Izendorf's face just went from a smirk to a grimace. Oh dear. He doesn't look pleased at all. Oof! Big time cutter from Izendorf just laid out Mikey. This can't be good at all. He might have broken his neck. Cover now! 1...2...

East: Hey, wait! Derrick just lifted up Mikey's shoulder! Derrick broke the count, why?

Dan: He's just toying with these fellows now. Remember, this is an exhibition! Oh, watch out now Mikey. You're done.

East: Derry has that clutch in, he's going for those vicious elbows! 

Dan: He's inviting him to the Elbow Party, Jason. 

East: My Lord. I think Mikey is unconscious – The referee is checking on him and ringing for the bell. It's obvious who won this contest. What was Hal thinking?

Eaton: Ladies and Gentlemen, the winners of the this match – Shane Brooks and Derrick Izendorf!

East: Derrick has a massive grin on his face and Brooks seems somewhat impressed even though he wasn't in that match at all! He was just reading a book the entire way through!

Dan: I wonder what book it was. Must have been a good one.

East: Now ladies and gents, we go backstage to Ada Umlaut who I believe is attending a party held by the newest member of our roster... Viaje Sangria!

Ada: Danke, Herr East. Here I am at locker room of Viaje Sangria.

Ada knocks on the door then walks in. Inside are a gaggle of people enjoying themselves and sipping spirits. Viaje is at the center of the group and walks towards Ada, shaking her hand.

Viaje: Viaje Sangria. So nice of you to make it. I've heard that my opponents are very simple minded, so I will not confuse their little minds.

Some of you that I will stand in the ring with probably knew Trip Marteney, my father. A very successful man as you know. The difference is that some of you people actually met him, perhaps spent an evening with him. All I know are the statistics from over the years. I never knew the person and he doesn't know that I exist. But now people will learn of my existence. Starting now, Viaje Sangria will be at the top of the record books. 

The segment ends as Viaje goes back to entertaining his guests. Ada walks around awkwardly, goes to grab a glass then thinks twice. She exits the room with a red face.

Consequences Match - Blackwater VS Haltus

Eaton: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is set for one fall! If Blackwater wins this match, he will receive a number one contender's match for the Wrestle Republic 2421 Hardcore Championship! If Haltus wins this match, then he will receive a loser leaves Wrestle Republic match with Shane Brooks! Introducing first, hailing from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 205lbs – Blackwater!

East: I can't believe this man can live with himself! He most likely ended Ugg's career, and here he is with that tazer and Ugg's club! How can he be proud of what he's done?!?

Dan: He should be proud! Somewhat had to put that brute down for good. Good for Blackwater, I really hope he wins this, then defeats that rediculous Lotus Dragon I for the title. He deserves it after putting that monster out for good!

East: How do you know that?!?

Dan: I saw him. His body. The Doc is trying to do some kind of work on him, some kind of “Ancestral Recovery”, but I don't think it's gonna work! I hope it doesn't work. Ugg is done for good, folks!

Eaton: And introducing his opponent, hailing from Baystone City, Maine, weighing in at 215lbs – The Nor'Easter, Logan Halford Altus! 

Dan: I don't see what everyone sees in this Haltus kid. Why's he so good?

East: He has an exciting high flying style and he's a genuinely nice guy, what's wrong with that?

Dan: But he just has no personality! All he does is paint and crap like that! He doesn't express himself truly – He should be showing rage! Anger! 

East: Haltus doesn't want to be like that though, as we've seen – He doesn't want to emulate his father, who was known for being overly violent!

Dan: I don't know about that. I didn't know Skyler that much, but he wasn't as extreme as people are making out! The only chair he probably ever held was a high chair!

East: Enough please, Sir Dan, let's just call the match now, OK? Match starts with a lock up and it seems like Haltus has the early advantage, here he comes now, running the ropes.

Dan: Oh, is this going to be some of that high flying offence already?

East: Here he comes now with a springboard, but Blackwater dodges! Haltus is still on his feet though and goes for a dropkick, but Blackwater dodges again! 

Dan: He's on the ball tonight. 

East: Blackwater is on top of Logan now and he's dropping knees on that left arm of his, he's really working it over!

Dan: He's working towards that armbar he does. The Soul of the Fighter. It's pretty impressive, and in fact, I'd say that flying armbar is a better high flying move than the entire of Haltus' arsenal. 

East: But will he get to do it tonight? Blackwater now runs the ropes and goes to drop an elbow on Haltus, but now he dodges! Haltus is up and delivers a solid punch to the gut of Blackwater, winding him as he was getting up off the mat! Here we go now – Dropkick! Haltus hits it this time and goes for the cover! 1...

East: Kick out! Just one there. 

Dan: What's that idiot doing covering this early? Foolish.

East: It's about the mental games, Sir Dan, you know this! It's about getting that dominance over your opponent between those ropes, isn't it?

Dan: Yes, it is, but Haltus isn't intimidating at all, he can't pull that off in the slightest!

East: I don't know about that – These repeated punches to the head look pretty intimidating! The referee is getting between the two to break up the closed fists and – What's he doing?!? Blackwater just raked the eyes of Haltus when the referee was distracted!

Dan: Yes! That's how you do it, son!

East: Blackwater now with the European uppercut, and he's lavishing the boos the crowd are treating him to right now. He's right on top of The Nor'Easter now and he's targeting the arm once more – This is a smart move, I have to admit! He's going into a submission move now – That's like a modified abdominal stretch, but instead of stretching the abs, he's got his knee on the back of Haltus and he's stretching that arm he's been working over!

Dan: Some masterful wrestling right here. We've seen some good technique tonight, I tell you.

East: Haltus is really feeling the pain here now, but he's getting the crowd behind him! He's trying to wiggle out, will he do it? He's struggling, is he out?

Dan: No! Wrench that arm! What are you doing?

East: Haltus is almost – he's out! Haltus is out, and he's running the ropes, going for a big time headscissors by the looks of it – No! Blackwater turned it into a tirl a whirl backbreaker! Cover now! 1...2....

East: Kick out from Haltus!

Dan: Take note, look how Blackwater covered Haltus, he made him kick out with that injured arm. This Blackwater, he must have been watching my tapes! He's doing damn good tonight. 

East: Blackwater now capitalising on Haltus being down and out, he's picking up that limp dead weight... What's he going for here? He has him in a front headlock, picking him up – He's got him for a supl- no! Deadly brainbuster!

Dan: Ouch. He just got dropped RIGHT on his head. Vicious. I love it!

East: Blackwater isn't going for a cover though, where does he think he's going? He's walking over to the corner!

Dan: He's going to show Haltus how to do these high flying moves properly!

East: Up he jumps to the top rope – Moonsault! Look at the air time there! Here he comes – No! Haltus now moving out of the way of that as Blackwater crashes and burns! Haltus is crawling over to cover Blackwater, here he goes, but it's that injured arm he's got over him! 1...2...

East: Kick out from Blackwater! Just! If that arm wasn't injured, this could have been over! Blackwater's just rolled out of the ring now, he must be shocked that Haltus almost beat him there.

Dan: I would be. That kid's a punk.

East: Blackwater is crawling around on the outside and – Wait, who's that – Is that Shane Brooks on the ramp? What the hell's he doing here? He's trying to get into the ring, but the referee's stopping him, he's drawn the ire of Haltus too! 

Dan: Oh, silly Haltus! Get mad! Get angry!

East: The referee is getting Shane Brooks out of the ring and – Hey! What's that Blackwater has there? I hope it- No! He's just tazed Haltus! He just tazed Haltus, and he's knocked out cold! Brooks is out of the ring now and looks pleased with himself, this is crazy! Blackwater with the cover now, 1...2...

East: 3! No! God damn it.

Eaton: Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this match – Blackwater!

East: The fans are not liking this at all, and frankly, neither am I! This is bull-

Dan: Hey, hold on East. He did what he needed to do to win. He was the smarter man!

East: No, that was just blatant cheating! I really hope Doctor Hal Gorbachev sees this man's actions and does something, this is outrageous!

Dan: Calm down, damnit! It's my job to get salty! Now, announce the next segment, or do I have to do it?

East: Fine, I'm calm. We now go – Wait, what happened to the lights?

The arena is completely black for around 10 seconds. When the lights come back on, Blackwater is laying unconscious in the ring next to Ugg's club. The screen fades to black.

T.Hawk and Zangief are seen in their usual training area. Both of them are elated, and for good reason. With a hand on the shoulder of his protégé, Zangief has a warming smile...

Zangief: Ah T.Hawk you have made me proud. You took your passion and determination and used it in your match. Now look at you, the champion of this company.

T.Hawk: I can't thank you enough for all of your training, without it I would never be able to hold my own out there.

Zangief: Do not be so sure comrade. Your strength is still greater than most of the competitors, that alone gave big advantage. 

Zangief pats T.Hawk on the back as he sees the cameraman standing nearby...

Zangief: It is time my friend.

T.Hawk nods his head as he takes a deep breath and slings the title over his shoulder, walking up to the cameraman...

T.Hawk: Hello to everyone out there in the Wrestling Republic audience. It does me great honour to tell you all that this title is now in the hands of a pure athlete, and no longer will it be tainted by the hands of that monster Beardy.

Zangief watches on with a smile across his face. T.Hawk clears his throat for a moment before speaking once again...

T.Hawk: Winning this title is a crowning achievement in my career. It shows that all the hard-work and training I went through truly paid off. That being said, in my honest opinion if anyone should be holding this belt right now, it should be my mentor, Viktor Zangief. 

T.Hawk motions for Zangief to join him on camera. Zangief shakes his head at first, but T.Hawk won't give up. It finally works as his mentor walks up and stands right next to T.Hawk, looking at the camera...

T.Hawk: This man right here. I learned so much from him, every move you see me do in that ring was taught by him. I never would have thought of being wrestler ages ago but with this motivation and drive he made the champion you all see today.

T.Hawk smiles as he holds the title in front of him while saying this. Zangief gives his friend a small applause for his accomplishment...

Zangief: And he will continue to train, T.Hawk shall be the best champion Wrestling Republic has ever seen. Never backing down from any challenge and learning to work together with others, like the partners he has tonight.

T.Hawk: My allies have great accolades in their own right. Autumn Meszaros, the woman who defeated Hyper Blizzard to become the new Global Champion. The VR Rangers Gavan and Captain Marvelous who dismantled Real Steel to capture the tag team titles. And finally a man who I have a great history with here in this company, Duke Nukem. Duke we've been in a tag match before but that didn't go so well, and it ended with you putting your hands on my mentor. That's all water under the bridge, so tonight we wipe the slate clean and demolish our opponents.

Clenching his fist T.Hawk wears a serious expression across his face as Zangief does the same...

Zangief: Many elements are at play with both teams. Power, speed, and intelligence. Truly these factors will make for entertaining collision. But the only one that has me curious is the new comer.

T.Hawk: Ah yes Viaje Sangria. A man that no one seems to know much about. Quite the opportunity he has though, his first match and he's already in the main event. Hal must be very impressed with him in some way for that to happen.

Zangief: Mr. Gorbachev is very keen at selecting prominent talent. Respect must be given to the opponents even though they may not use the best of tactics in ring.

T.Hawk: Real Steel, Aestas, and Hyper, I'll be watching closely to make sure there's no tricks up your sleeves while we're in that ring. As for Viaje, I wish you the best of luck and hope that you will go far in Wrestling Republic. 

Zangief: Grom yastrebom nomer odin chempion i dolzhno bytʹ v techenie ochenʹ dolgogo vremeni. Pustʹ te , kto stoit pered nim, bytʹ razdavlennym svoyeĭ sily i voli. Slava vsembolelʹshchikam, kotorye poseshchayut i vsekh, kto znaet yego imya.

T.Hawk holds his title up high as Zangief speaks in his native tongue whilst pointing at his protégé, giving a loud boisterous laugh while the scene comes to an end... 

Hardcore Championship Match – Lotus Dragon Street Spirit Challenge

Eaton: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following is a Junkyard Rules match and it is for the Wrestle Republic 2421 Hardcore Championship! Introducing first, hailing from the Lottie Dizzle Hawaiian Cruise Line, weighing in at 180lbs, he is the Wrestle Republic 2421 Hardcore Champion – Lotus Dragon I!

East: Lotus Dragon won the title last time we were on the Global Network at Ciber Monday, using his guaranteed championship match against the unconscious and likely now retired Ugg -

Dan: Thank God -

East: And now he faces a mystery opponent tonight. Who will accept the challenge?

Lotus I: I-

Lotus I is interrupted straight away by music. Out walks an obnoxious looking man with similar features to Lotus I, albeit with spiky silver hair and gear as opposed to Lotus I's green gear. It is Lotus Dragon XXVII, the future descendant of Lotus Dragon I.

XXVII: Hello, Lotus Dragon I. You may know me. In fact, you do know me. You're a lot like me. Actually, let me rephrase that. You're a lot like I was. I used to be like you, pandering to these people. But no more, I've had enough of this crap, I just can't bear it any more. 

This line seems to get a laugh out of the crowd for some reason.

XXVII: Shut up! Listen, I'm the true Lotus Dragon. I'm going to wipe your name from existence, and win your championship in the process – You're not fit to hold that belt!

XXVII drops the mic and begins to walk down to the ring. As he reaches it, Lotus I picks up a mic and begins to speak himself.

Lotus I: Hey XXVII, guess what? It's always been a fantasy of mine...

East: Oof! XXVII just kicked Lotus in the stomach and let's get this Junkyard Rules match underway! Sir Dan, if you'd like to explain the rules of a Junkyard Rules match?

Dan: Rule Number 1 – There are no rules. That's it.

East: ...I suppose so. XXVII starting off this match strong with those kicks, and now a devastating knee strike to the face of Lotus I! Lotus I is on the ground as XXVII goes for the cover, but I kicks out before the referee can even start to count. Both Lotuses are up now, but I has the advantage! A grand spinning back fist there, and I think XXVII really felt that.

Dan: Yup, they hurt. From experience, they hurt. Those back fists are truly magical if you can do them right.

East: The Hardcore champion has rolled out of the ring now and – Hey! He's got a trash can full of weapons, and he's throwing them in! What's that there, 2x4s, crutches, pipes, stop signs?!? I can't keep track of all this stuff filling up the ring! 

Dan: Oh, this is going to be fun.

East: Lotus I rolling back in the ring now, and I think he's got a stop sign – He went to hit XXVII with it but he caught it right in front of his face – But wait! Dropkick from Lotus the first kicks the sign right into the money maker of XXVII! He can't be pleased with that!

Dan: Now the two Lotuses may not look as similar now, if his face is mushed!

East: Cover now from Lotus I – 1...2...

East: Kickout barely from XXVII there, that was real close!

Dan: Damn right it was close. XXVII has more in him, I really like this attitude change too! This is what it takes to be a real star in Wrestle Republic.

East: Lotus Dragon I now dragging XXVII up to his feet, and now XXVII is trying to get out of his grasp – Headscissor takedown from XXVII grounding Lotus I, and now XXVII is looking for a weapon – I think he has a – Is that a tyre?

Dan: I believe it is. What is he going to do with that?

East: XXVII now with the tyre – He's put it over the head of the hardcore champion! Lotus Dragon I is stuck within that tyre!

Dan: Oh man. This is hilarious.

East: Lotus Dragon I has nowhere to go as XXVII starts to kick his ancestor in the chest and head! He's really delivering punishment here, and the worst part is, Lotus I can do absolutely nothing about it!

Dan: I know, right? I bet his fans can't bear to watch. They're not liking this new Lotus XXVII at all.

East: XXVII has the champ laid out on the mat as he goes to the top rope – Is he going for a high risk manoeuvre here? Off he goes with what looks to be a big frog splash – But Lotus I moves out of the way! 

Dan: Whoops. I guess there was one way he could go. You gotta roll with it, Lotus.

East: Lotus Dragon I is angry now! He just gave XXVII a thrust kick to the stomach, and – Ouch! Spike reverse DDT! Lotus Dragon I is on a roll!

Dan: He was on a roll not so long ago too – Just not literally now!

East: Lotus I is going to the top rope now, maybe he's going to try for some high risk offence, here we go! Diving half senton and it connects, that I believe is the Moderately Sized Kahuna, and here's the cover! 1...2...

East: No! XXVII kicks out at 2 and 7 8ths!

Dan: That exact? Did you measure the time?

East: Lotus Dragon I can't believe it, and I don't think the fans can either, they were sure the Hardcore Champion had retained his title, but the match continues! Lotus Dragon I going to pick up XXVII now – Small package! Small package from XXVII! 1...2...

East: Kick out from Lotus I! He almost pulled a fast one there, and I don't think the champ would be impressed if he fell for that.

Dan: I would. That was a quick thinking move there.

East: Both of the Lotuses are up now, trading blows and I think XXVII has the advantage, he's got Lotus I in some kind of grappling position – Big time overdrive from XXVII, and he's just waiting for Lotus I to get up now, I think he's going to go for that Crescendo Variation #2, that spear!

Dan: Oh man. I hope he hits this.

East: XXVII is running – Lotus Dragon I moves out of the way! Lotus Dragon now, he's got that trash can and he just nailed XXVII in the stomach with it, and now he's picking him up – Michinoku Driver! Peaches en Regalia! Peaches en Regalia right on top of the now crumpled trash can! Pinfall - 1...2...

East: 3! He did it! Lotus Dragon the first retained his Hardcore Championship against his brethren! What a brutal match!

Eaton: Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner of this match and still Wrestle Republic 2421 Hardcore Champion – Lotus Dragon I!

East: What a match indeed. We saw a lot of high octane offence from both men, but it was Lotus Dragon I who came out with the win tonight.

Dan: He cheated. I saw him. 

East: How would he – Never mind. Lotus I celebrating with his belt, and he's offering his hand to his descendant now... But I don't think XXVII is interested at all! XXVII has just walked away from the handshake of Lotus Dragon I, and that was just disrespectful. And – Wait a minute – Ladies and gentlemen, I am receiving word that next week, Blackwater will face Bio Dingo Patterson and Lotus Dragon XXVII in a triple threat match to decide the number one contender's for the hardcore title. What a match that will be! Now we go backstage to a former number one contender for the World Heavyweight Championship, and one of the contenders in our main event tonight... Duke Nukem.

Duke relaxes in an armchair, smoking a cigar and watching TV.

"I like my women better when they aren't trying to kill me, and I like my robots in pieces. And I'm sorry, Viaje, but I think this evening is over."

He takes a puff of his cigar.

"As for my team...it's Morphin' Time."

The Duke Nukem theme plays. 

There is a loud noise outside of the room and the camera pans to see Blackwater walking briskly backstage. He is holding an ice pack to his head, pushing people out of the way.

Blackwater: You! Hey, you!

Rudy: Who, me? Uh, uh, who are you?

Blackwater: Shut up! Where's the office of the Doctor?

Rudy: Uh, that way.... 

Rudy points in a direction further down the hall and Blackwater carries on rushing down people in his way. He eventually reaches the office of Doctor Hal Gorbachev. He opens the door in a fury without knocking. Inside is Dumpy, eating the complimentary sweets on Doctor Hal's desk.

Blackwater: Where is the Doc? I demand to know who left me in the ring like that!

Dumpy: I doth knoth. Trth duth labraothtorianth?

Blackwater has a confused expression on his face as he struggles to understand with Dumpy said through his mouthful of jelly beans and his harsh German accent. Blackwater just shakes his head, sighs and then leaves the room, slamming the door behind him.

Main Event - T. Hawk, Duke Nukem, Autumn Meszaros and VR Rangers VS Hyper Blizzard, “Aestas”, Real Steel and Viaje Sangria

Eaton: Ladies and Gentlemen, it is now time for the main event of the evening! The following is a 5 on 5 elimination tag team match where the surviving members of the winning team will receive any match of their choice! Introducing first, the team of Duke Nukem! The Wrestle Republic 2421 Tag Team Champions, Ciber Sharivan and Captain Marvelous, Real Steel! The Wrestle Republic 2421 Global Network Champion, Autumn Meszaros and the Wrestle Republic 2421 World Heavyweight Champion, accompanied by “The Red Cyclone” Viktor Zangief.... He is Thunder Hawk!

East: Wow! What a dream team this is! All the championships within Wrestle Republic 2421 are on this team, and rightfully so, don't you think?

Dan: Nope. They all won their titles wrongly. 

East: But you can't deny all of the championships are on that team though, can you?

Dan: Yes I can! Hyper Blizzard still rightfully holds the Global Network title, see! Here she comes now!

Eaton: And introducing their opponents, Viaje Sangria! Atom and Super Destroyman, Real Steel! “Aestas”! And finally, Hyper Blizzard!

Dan: Now this is a dream team. One of the best tag teams ever, next to High Society of course, the super duper kawaii true Global Network Champion Hyper Blizzard, the dangerous enigma that is “Aestas”, and of course the debuting Viaje Sangria. Can I just say, I love that man's class. Was a big fan of his father, too. If he's anything like him, he's sure to be an asset to this team.

East: We'll see about that, and here we go! This huge main event is underway! It looks like Super Destroyman and Ciber Sharivan are starting this match off in a big way, one of the tag team champions and the other one of the former tag team champions they won the belts off of! There's a lot of bad blood in this match, something's gotta give, surely?

Dan: Yeah, the ring. How can it hold the mass of all of these competitors, especially that goofy huge T. Hawk? He needs to go on a height diet or something. Stop having so many scoops.

East: Scoops?

Dan: Ice cream, of course. I bet T. Hawk is the kind of guy that likes to settle down after an intense match by relaxing with a tube of Pringles, some Salty Turtles and some Ben and Jerry's. Sounds like a good idea, actually.

East: ...Anyway, Ciber is doing some poses for the audience, but I don't think Super Destroyman is impressed at all! Super Destroyman runs at Ciber, going for some kind of spear, but Ciber delivers an open hand palm to the face of Super Destroyman, and here he goes with those punch combos! 1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! 7! 8! 9! 10! 10 hit combo! Amazing! 

Dan: Damn, poor Super Destroyman. Hope he's okay.

East: Maybe he's not as here comes the former Global Network Champion, Hyper Blizzard. Now this is the first time Hyper Blizzard has faced Ciber Sharivan, so we'll have to see how the two competitors match up tonight. Ciber is holding out his arm for a collar and elbow tie up, but Hyper wants none of that business!

Dan: No sir. Hyper doesn't engage in any of this sportsmanship. This is important.

East: Hyper now opting to go for a forearm strike which catches Ciber Sharivan in his face, and now an Irish whip sending one half of the tag team champions careening off the ropes and – Exploder suplex from the former Global Network Champion!

Dan: You sure like pointing that out, don't you? 

East: Well, it's true. Why do you think Hyper holds on to the belt still?

Dan: Because she's the true champion. And it's also playing with the mind of the Rose Queen. Both of those ladies come from a family of wrestlers, as do I, and when you're part of that culture, things like stealing a person's title is kind of like stealing a co-worker's lunch.

East: Hey, so it's you who keeps stealing my PBJs out of the fridge?!?

Dan: Did I say that? Shut up and call the match, East.

East: …Ciber now starting to make a comeback, quick snap suplex from the Space Sheriff! He runs the ropes now, but Hyper Blizzard is already up and waiting, here she goes off the ropes too – Shining Blizzard! Huge knee under the chin of Ciber Sharivan, and he's out! 1...2...

East: Ciber is done!

Dan: He's donesies. Seeya later, don't be salty bro. You'll get your runbacks, I'm sure.

East: Where do you get these words?

Dan: It's what these cool kids like Lotus XXVII say. Go get some culture, East. I'm not even from this time period and I know more about it than you do. 

East: Hyper Blizzard certainly looks pleased with that quick elimination, and I can see why! In comes the other half of the tag team champions now, Captain Marvelous! Marvelous is walking up to Hyper Blizzard an- Oof! Big slap from Hyper to the face of the Captain, and I don't think that was a good idea! I think he was already mad as it is!

Dan: No, it's a good idea. He'll make stupid mistakes now. 

East: Captain Marvelous is going after Blizzard, but she's ran over to her corner, what a coward! The referee has to stop Marvelous from getting to Blizzard, and he's dealing with the frosty lady now – But wait! What's Super Destroyman doing in the ring behind the ref's back, as Hyper Blizzard is tagging in “Aestas”, the referee's not watching - Low blow to Captain Marvelous, what cheap tactics!

Dan: That's not cheap, he probably paid a lot for that costume!

East: That's not wha- Aestas now picking up Captain Marvelous – Wow! Front flip piledriver! From my notes here given to me by Ryan Maxwell, I believe that is named the Dusk 'til Dawn! Cover now, 1...2...

East: 3! Captain Marvelous is out and it's 5 on 3! The numbers game is going to really come in now, isn't it?

Dan: Oh yes, it is indeed. Now Hyper Blizzard's team has the lead, they're sure to cinch this.

East: In comes the World Heavyweight Champion now, T. Hawk! The crowd has lit up at the sight of their hero! Aestas doesn't like the look of T. Hawk at all though and tags in Atom. 

Dan: Well, there's a big size difference. Aestas is just being smart.

East: What's Aestas doing there on the ring apron, anyway? Is she crying again?

Dan: I think so. She is a strange lady indeed, not one I'd want to mess with at all.

East: Atom and T. Hawk in the ring now. Left on the two teams – T. Hawk, Duke Nukem and Autumn Meszaros on one side, with Atom, Super Destroyman, “Aestas”, Hyper Blizzard and the newest member of our roster, Viaje Sangria on the other. What do you think of the look of Viaje Sangria?

Dan: I don't know, we've not actually seen him in action yet but I'm looking forward to it. He seems to be quite unassuming though, he's probably a hell of a lot tougher than he looks, like all of these ladies here.

East: Atom and T. Hawk locking up now, and T. Hawk has the obvious size and strength advantage here, and he's got the leverage too – He's got Atom by his throat with two hands and he's lifted him up off the ground! What strength! T. Hawk slams him down with a choke bomb and poses for the audience, that was a real feat of strength there folks, and you can only see this on one place on the Global Network – Wrestle Republic 2421! 

Dan: I don't know, what about that Never Finishing Force Wrestling?

East: Who?

Dan: ...Nevermind.

East: T. Hawk now has Atom up again, delivering battering ram headbutts again and again and again, he's not giving in at all, just plowing through the former tag champ who crumples to the mat! Cover now, 1...2...

East: Kick out from Atom, barely! I think he's running on fumes right now.

Dan: But Atom doesn't run on petrol. He's battery charged. 

East: It's an expression, Sir Dan.

Dan: I know that. Don't try and make me look stupid.

East: I don't have to tr- Wait a minute! Super Destroyman is coming in the ring even though he's not been tagged in, and both him and Atom are running at T. Hawk! What is thi- Double chop from T. Hawk lays both men out! T. Hawk is picking up Atom now – Raging Typhoon powerbomb! Cover – 1...2...

East: 3! That's it, Atom is gone and the numbers are slightly more even now! Blizzard's not impressed and she's calling for a council with Aestas and Viaje, since Super Destroyman looks to be semi conscious on the outside there... T. Hawk is going to tag someone in now I think... Oh, here he comes! Duke Nukem has been reluctantly tagged in, and it looks like, as they say, business may be about to pick up!

Dan: No, he says “Let's Rock”. Or, “It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum, but I'm all out of gum.” 

East: I wasn't quoting Duke, but never mind. Hyper is forcing Super Destroyman to face Duke as it appears none of the members of her team on the apron want anything to do with him! Super Destroyman is kind of dizzy by the looks of it from that chop, he keeps trying to punch Duke but the punches aren't doing much at all, in fact Duke is dodging most of them! Duke isn't impressed at all, and here's a side slam backbreaker from Earth's Greatest Hero! He's waiting for Super Destroyman to get up now and that can only mean one thing... Here he comes! The Mighty Foot! Super Destroyman is laid out, cover! 1... 2...

East: 3! Super Destroyman is now eliminated in quick fashion and the numbers are now even! Aestas is in the ring now, she's just running straight at Duke, what's gotten into her?

Dan: Wow, that's scary, she's just jumped on top of him, clawing at his face. Vicious.

East: Duke is forced to make a tag to someone on the apron and – Hey, wait... Where has T. Hawk gone? Something is dragging him under the ring, I see a grey hand... Is that who I think it is? Is that Su-

Dan: No, don't even say it! 

East: Duke now forced to tag in Autumn, and now this may be perhaps a preview of a match down the line as Aestas is currently the number one contender to Autumn Meszaros' Global Network Championship! Where the hell did T. Hawk get dragged off to? Did Beardy drag him ba-

Dan: He just went back to sharpen his tomahawks. Zangief is looking under the ring for him now, he can't find him. I'm not surprised, those cyborg eyes of his probably need replacing, he's a silly old relic, isn't he?

East: Dan, he can hear us from here. He's walking over!

Zangief: Sir Dan Danielson! I hope you have nothing to do with this cowardice! And anyway comrade, you are from same era as me, you are relic too!

Dan: What did you say? Get over here you, grr. I'll get you next time, Red Cyclone. Go find your stupid protégé.

East: Aestas and Autumn in the ring now, and Aestas has the advantage, clawing at Autumn's face now. Both are up and Aestas just chopped the hell out of the chest of Autumn! Ouch. Autumn isn't too phased and responds with a chop of her own, though! These ladies are dueling with chops and neither is coming off any better, are they?

Dan: I am. I'm enjoying this.

East: Aestas goes for a front dropkick, but Autumn steps backwards out of the way, smart move by the Global Network champ. Autumn now going to lock on a submission on the grounded Aestas... She's got a standing camel clutch locked in! Is that the Squirtle Squat?

Dan: Unfortunately, yes, it is. What a silly move.

East: Aestas is feeling the pain from the Rose Queen now, but Aestas is getting back to her feet. Autumn released the hold prematurely, I think she knew it was coming! Autumn is off the back of Aestas, and now Aestas is in a fit of rage! What is she screaming at her?

Dan: It either sounds like “Witch” or it rhymes with “Witch”. Either is bad.

East: Aestas now with a big time jumping big boot, and she's just on top of Autumn, punching her with those closed fists in the back of the head! The referee is counting now, 1...2...3...4..

East: 5! Aestas has been DQ'd and is still laying into Autumn! 

Dan: Oh, that's smart. Aestas sacrificed herself to basically eliminate Miss Meszaros. Clever.

East: No, I think she was just suddenly overcome with rage for some reason, but now she looks... sad almost as she exits the ring... How very, very strange. Hyper Blizzard is now entering the ring and is going over to the recovering Autumn Meszaros... Wait! Superkick from Autumn Meszaros! Hyper Blizzard caught all of that from out nowhere! Autumn falls into the cover! 1...2...

East: 3! Hyper Blizzard is out, and she's furious now! Two very mad ladies in this match, and I'm not surprised, I don't think Blizzard thought Autumn was still conscious!

Dan: She got lucky.

East: I almost agree with you there, but what is Hyper doing now? Blue mist to the face of Autumn, and the referee can do nothing as Hyper Blizzard is already eliminated! And off she goes, carrying Autumn Meszaros' title in her hands. What a sore loser.

Dan: Hey, if I was cheated like that, I'd be annoyed too.

East: Viaje Sangria is the last member of his team now, and in he comes, picking up Autumn – Big spinebuster! Huge spinebuster there from Viaje! That was certainly impressive, but I don't think it was needed as Autumn couldn't see and was barely conscious! Cover, 1...2...

East: 3! Autumn is eliminated and this match is down to 1 on 1, although T. Hawk has not technically been eliminated, he is out of the match I guess?

Dan: Wouldn't he be counted out?

East: I'm not so sure, only the legal member would be the one to get counted out, so we'll have to see what happens! Viaje and Duke Nukem now the only two left nevertheless, and Viaje is not wasting any time, laying in elbows to the face of Duke Nukem, who is trapped in his corner, and now a big time forearm! Duke shoves Viaje back, but he rolls with the momentum and comes back with a running knee! 

Dan: That was impressive. I like the look of this fellow right here.

East: Viaje is looking impressive indeed, as he picks up Duke Nukem and whips him across the ring, and here we go again! Spinebuster from Viaje Sangria knocks Duke Nukem to the floor, and here's a cover! 1...2...

East: Kick out from Duke Nukem, he really wants this match, doesn't he?

Dan: I most certainly would. I know what match I would have.

East: What match is that?

Dan: Me versus Dumpy in a no DQ winner gets control of Wrestle Republic match but all Germans must have their hands tied behind their back.

East: Well, thank God you're not in this match then!

Dan: Hey, Viaje may have the same idea as me. Who knows?

East: Duke is back up now after that spinebuster, but Viaje was waiting for him – He went for a running knee again but Duke was ready this time! Side slam backbreaker from Duke Nukem to Viaje Sangria, and THAT had to hurt, it almost looked like he bounced off the canvas with the impact!

Dan: There's a reason why they call that a backbreaker, folks. That's because it sounds cool.

East: I thought you were going to say-

Dan: Well, you thought wrong. I only speak the truth. You know this.

East: Duke is waiting for Viaje to get up now, he's stalking him, here we go! Kick to the gut, and what did he just say?

Dan: I believe he insulted him for drinking all of his beer. Or something.

East: Oh dear, he we go! Crushing DDT from Duke who is quick to go into the cover, this is it! 1...2...

East: No! Viaje kicks out! How the hell did the newcomer do that?

Dan: Pure heart. And he's probably so drunk he doesn't feel pain. But then again, I think he can hold his alcohol by the looks of him, so I don't know.

East: Duke is in shock, but he's calling for another move already – I think he's calling for the Shotgun Blast as he waits for Viaje to get to his feet – He's moving, he's conscious but taking his time... The crowd is going crazy with anticipation! Viaje is finally up, and here comes Duke! Duke runs at Viaje – No! Spinebuster again from Viaje, who stays on top of Duke, he's pulling him up for some reason, what is he up to? He should have covered him!

Dan: He's not stupid. He's not wasting his time covering Duke when he's too stupid to stay down.

East: Duke isn't being stupid by not staying down, he wants to win the match, Sir Dan! That's how this works!

Dan: Feh. What do you know?

East: Sangria now has Duke up and has Irish whipped him into the corner, and there's a running knee in the corner, crushing Duke between him and the turnbuckle.

Dan: There we go. Get him, boyo! Make your mark!

East: Viaje is propping up Duke Nukem on the top rope, I think he's going for some kind of finishing manoeuvre up there by the looks of it!

Dan: Oh dear, I think I may have heard of this move. Perhaps it will be the top rope urinage? Or the avalanche STO?

East: I don't think it will be either if Duke is involved, as he's fighting back up there! Both men are fighting treacherously up on that top rope, both delivering fists back and forth as the crowd and cheering and jeering along with the blows – Duke with a back fist sends Viaje Sangria to the mat, but he's up – Duke now jumping off the top rope! Whoah! Jumping Shotgun Blast knocks Viaje to the ground! Shotgun Blast from the top rope, and Duke falls into the cover!

Dan: No!

East: 1...2...

East: 3! He did it! Duke wins! Duke wins!

Eaton: Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner and sole survivor of this match... Duke Nukem!

East: What a victory in this colossal match from Duke Nukem... Wow. And what a night this has been.

Dan: What a night. Can't believe Duke won, I really hope he has a good idea with what he's doing here.

East: I hope so too. Join us next time folks when we announce brackets for our upcoming tournament to decide the new number contender to the World Heavyweight Championship! Thank you for watching!